Monday, January 5, 2015

Dear _____,

Restaurant with a "welcome to Vegas" curtain hanging in the entrance...  Yeah, I'm not convinced this is Vegas.  You'll have to try a little harder.  More glamor and glitz would help.

Lizard that looked like it was having seizures...  When I first saw you, I was like, "What?!"  Upon closer inspection, I realized you were quickly gobbling down ants.  That was a funny sight.

Acura...  You're the one car I've ever been sentimentally attached to, because you were the car I learned to drive in.  I was so sad when my dad told me you'd kicked the bucket.  Rest in peace, little blue car.

El Burro [Mexican restaurant not too far from our house]...  You're closed now?!  I refuse to accept this tragedy.  You've been a family stand-by for years.  You can't just close.  No, no, no!!!

Fast food guy...  If it's a party you're looking for, there's no need to propose.  You can eat and drink and dance whenever you want.  Really.

Guy dancing at the gas station while we filled up...  Thank you for entertaining us.

Person who delivered my electric bill late...  I was not a happy camper to get up one morning and find the bill slipped under my front door, with only three days until the payment was due (normally it's several weeks or even a month).  And it was right before a holiday, so I wasn't even sure whether the electric company's office would be open.  Thanks to you, I had a little freak-out moment of, "Oh no, am I going to wake up with no power?"  The bill did end up getting paid on time, but still.  Not cool, person.  Not cool.

Two boutiques without gas...  Of course, I would have to run out of gas right in the middle of making French fries.  And both of you would have to be without gas, necessitating a walk to another further-away boutique...

Gentlemanly neighbor...  I was walking up with the gas can (at last), and you were like, "Hey, you live on the top floor like I do.  Let me take that up for you."  Of course I can lug the thing up there myself (I usually do), but the unexpected gesture of thoughtfulness made my day.

Horse cart with half a gutted car balanced precariously on top...  That looks neither safe nor comfortable (for the cart driver, who was perched on top of the car frame).  But it's also one of those no-longer-surprising cargoes one sees around here.

Carolers that showed up when I was over a friend's...  We went out on the balcony and listened.  And just for a minute, I could forget where I was.  Thanks for spreading a little Christmas cheer.

"Times Square" Restaurant...  Your sign proclaims, "Ice cream, burgers, pizza, crepes, shawarmas, fried chicken, steak house, grill, kebabs, diner."  That's an impressive selection!  Of course, this is Africa, and on any given day, perhaps as much as half of your menu will be unavailable.  And it will be completely random.  And no one will be surprised if they have to change their order.  And then maybe change it a second or third time.  (That's how we roll here, baby.)

Little boys setting off firecrackers in the middle of my street...  Even though I knew what you were doing, I still jumped for every one.

Friend who invited me impromptu for biscuits and gravy...  Wow.  That hit the spot.  It had been forever since I've had sausage.

Cashiers at the bakery...  I was short on cash, so I asked if I could come back later.  When I did finally come back, you didn't understand what I was saying (and I knew it wasn't a problem with my French this time).  When it finally dawned on you, you seemed quite surprised and kept saying how nice I was to actually come back and pay the rest.  I'll admit that I was a little surprised and just how surprised you were.  "But I wasn't being nice, I was just paying what I owed!"

Itty bitty kitty that backed away from me as I click-clicked past on the sidewalk...  Not a fan of heels, are you?  Yeah, I'd probably be scared of them if I was your size, too.

Boy playing the harmonica...  I was walking home one day and I kept hearing snatches of a tune.  I was looking around trying to figure out where the magical sound was coming from, and there you were.

Tax paperwork...  Please forgive me for all those wretched things I said about you last year.  I want us to get along nicely this time, okay?

Shoe sole that came off as I was walking down the street...  What?  You came off - just like that?  At least the heel didn't break.  That would have been worse.

Boston Calling [BBC radio program]...  Okay, so I often enjoy you on Sunday evenings, but your latest broadcast - In Other Words - was especially fun, with topics like real-time translation, the art of subtitles, and a dictionary of "untranslatables".

Trending [another BBC radio program]...  Thank you for giving me a crash course in "how to get things to go viral" (yes, it was a somewhat tongue-in-cheek broadcast).  Apparently I should make lists, write quizzes, and of course, use pictures of cute cats.

 
Actually, one of the guys on the program thought we might be living in a post-cat world, that we might have reached the cat-saturation point.  (But what does he know?)
 
More or Less [yet another BBC radio program, dealing with statistics]...  So apparently the average height of soccer goalies has increased over the years.  If the current trend continues, one day the goalies will be so tall they bump their heads on the frame of the net.  That's a funny mental image...
 
Les Mis...  I am most definitely a fan.  Do I get cool points for watching it in French? ;)

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