Food for thought

"Oftentimes the greatest hindrance of a new move of God in your life is the last move of God."

Thoughts, anyone?

Birthday wishes

For my dear Mother...

She taught me how to cook, clean, sew, and all that good stuff.  She taught me to enjoy the simple things in life, to look around at God's creation and praise Him for it.  She taught me to love learning.  And most importantly, she taught me to love the Lord.  She took her responsibility as a mother seriously and sacrificed much to raise my sisters and I the way she believed God wanted her to.  Even when she didn't feel good, she took care of us and kept our home running.

Mom, I am so thankful for you and the love you have poured into my life.  You are one of my biggest heroes.  God blessed me abundantly when He gave me a mother like you.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

For those of you who don't know my mom, I'm sorry.  You don't know what you're missing!

Simple living: Photos

Here are the promised photos - this was the beginning of simple living, making noodles from scratch.  I handed the camera to my roommate, Megan, and she started snapping away...



Esther and I making noodles



Happily rolling away (L to R: me, Esther, Fonda, Susan)



Still rolling...



Esther meticulously cutting her noodles



The beloved Cappy (short for "Cappuchino") who obviously didn't want to be left out...

***

"Lord, I'm amazed by You and how You love me..."  It never gets old.

Happy Tuesday!

Simple Living: A complicated approach to life

That might have been a rather tongue-in-cheek title, although "simple living" does take a bit more forethought than I'd anticipated.  Here's my log, highlights only, for the week-and-a-half.

Tuesday - Armed with a cup of coffee (strategically brewed before the restrictions started)..."Here we go...this simple living thing might be fun."

Wednesday - "This is Rachel. I'll take your order..."  We did our supply buying for the week-and-a-half by radio.  We took turns communicating with the other team by radio, writing down orders, and giving them our own supply lists.  The process was somewhat tedious.  But I enjoyed my time "manning" the radio while capable and friendly supply buyers Esther and Susan took turns writing things down.

Thursday - My leftover coffee ran out.  The afternoon was hot and dreadfully humid - a perfect day for the kitchen, no?!

Friday - Our camping trip was cancelled due to possible thunderstorms.  I was not a happy camper at the news.

Saturday - Not a drop of rain until the middle of the afternoon.  My classmate and I were sipping tea when we heard the distant rumble...soon it began to pour.  Later, I had to run down to the mailboxes.  In a few minutes, I was quite thoroughly drenched!  Happily, we weren't camping.

Sunday - Coffee with Carol and Esther.  A lovely way to spend the afternoon.

Monday - At the end of a long day, I only wanted one thing...coffee.  But there was none to be had.  Truly tragic.

Tuesday - "I was just going to pick up the phone and call you..."  "Really?! ...Do you want to come down and keep me company?"  "Of course!!!"  Hanging out with Esther is always fun.  And I got a real, old-fashioned letter from long-lost friend Carla.  Man, I hadn't realized how much I missed her hugs and her smile.

Wednesday - 3.25 hours of fun with my partner in crime...er, in cleaning.  Dear Michelle.  So glad she puts up with me.

Thursday - My first experience with menudo.  Ah, tripe.  Nothing else in the world quite like it.

Friday - After classes and work detail, I headed to an overnight ladies' retreat with my beloved sister and friend, Esther.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  A word to the wise...don't ask God to speak to you if you don't really plan to listen to whatever He tells you.

Saturday - Thunder, lightening, rain, hail, snow, freezing rain...All in one day!  Our retreat ended with the song "Praise You in This Storm".  Quite appropriate.  And then it was back home for dinner with "The Team" (capital T's), since we didn't end up camping together.  Ah, happy memories.

Sunday - At noon - FREEDOM!!!  Use the microwave!  Listen to music!  Post on Xanga!  E-mail!  Brew coffee!  Call Mom and talk for more than eight minutes!  Whew...I think I'm tired now.



One of the roomies with my favorite little baby.  Isn't he precious?

More pictures next time...

Last Chance

The "restrictions" (I don't even like calling them that, since they're really not that bad) start at 8:00 this morning, so I figured I'd take the opportunity to quickly post something before then.

Breakfast menu: Homemade yogurt, banana, slice of whole wheat bread, and coffee.  (Because you had to know!)

Dishes are in the dishwasher, laundry is in the drier, and I'm at the kitchen table.  No else is up yet.  I love quiet mornings with a cup of coffee.

It's pretty wet outside, although I don't know if it's actually raining at the moment.

This afternoon, some of us ladies will be making homemade noodles and crackers.  That should be fun. I plan to bring my camera...no guarantee that I'll remember to take pictures, though.  And I'll be coming up with a menu for the next 1 1/2 weeks (one of our class assignments).  Hmm...I'm going to bake more bread, maybe make some tortillas, some granola, perhaps try my hand at quiche...Cooking from scratch is so much fun.  Eating the stuff you make is even more fun.


And finally, in closing, a verse that came into my mind this morning - one of my all-time favorites - Joshua 1:9.  "Have not I commanded thee?  Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest."  (I love that verse in Spanish, too!)  I'm not really "afraid" of our camping trip this weekend, or anything else that I can think of in this class, but the reminder is always good, no?  God is with me wherever I go.  So stop worrying.  Start singing.  We have every reason in the world to sing if we know Christ.
HALLELUJAH!!!

Faith

Faith: choosing to believe in something you know to be true even when the circumstances seem to suggest the opposite.  Like today.  I know Spring is just around the corner.  Even though, at the moment, it's snowing.

And just a little heads up for my readers...I've started a new class called "Simple Living/Practical Skills".  During the next two weeks - starting tomorrow - internet, long-distance calls, water, and electricity use will be limited.  And all cooking must be from scratch (with the exception of our weekend camp-out).  Not a big deal for me, since I almost always cook from scratch.  One of our assignments is to bake a loaf of bread.  You're kidding?!  I get an excuse to bake bread again?  I guess where I was going with all that is just that I won't be posting much during that time.  So don't start planning my memorial or divying up my effects just because I'm not writing for a while.

This weekend, weather permitting, will be my first-ever camping trip.  I was intimidated at first, but now I'm kind of looking forward to it.  It'll be an adventure.  Hopefully a good one, but an adventure regardless.  I'll try to take pictures...and there just may be a surprise or two.  No promises.  Just possibilities.

Oh, and by the way, hazelnut coffee is pretty good.  So is homemade yogurt.  It's surprisingly easy.  And the smell of the "Monday pot of beans" is wafting through the house again...And I'm off to cleaning in a bit...

Thanks, Lord, for another week!

Snapshots of life

Actually, that's what I was going to call yesterday's post.  But when I sat down to start typing, the clever title left my mind.  Today, I have no pictures, but I wasn't going to waste an idea.

We'll settle for verbal "snapshots".

Shot 1: A charming little grasshopper.  "You're kidding, Missouri has insects?!"  Oh yes, they're finally reappearing.  But the windshield was still icy this morning when we left for church.  I also spotted a clothesline with a whole assortment of darling baby clothes hanging up on it.  One could call it a contradiction.  I call it Springtime.

Shot 2: A hill.  Around a dozen lively boys between the ages of 5-10 (each with a heap of imagination).  Toy weapons of varying shapes and sizes.  Whooping and hollering.  Flying projectiles.  Sometimes it seems that I live in a war zone.  I'm just waiting for the day when I'll get caught in the cross-fires.  Wild or not, I must say I kind of like it.  It makes life more exciting.

Shot 3: Pastor Bob asked this morning, "How many know someone who is materialistic?"  Everyone raised their hands.  "And how many of us would consider ourselves materialistic?"  Ouch.  My hand should have been raised again, I know.

Shot 4: We can be so thoughtless and forgetful sometimes, can't we?  I left a very important item somewhere and fretted about it for half an hour.  Went back to look for it, and it wasn't there.  My shoulders sagged.  I felt sick.  How could I be so careless?  I thought, and kicked myself the entire way home.  In the end, everything was taken care of with minor inconvenience.  Thank You, Lord!

Shot 5: A loaf of bread...No, I'm not referring to the baking I did yesterday.  Pastor Bob said this in his sermon this morning - "Daily bread is plenty when God is your portion."  I don't know about you, but I kind of like to see or have my "bread" for six months...six weeks...or at the very least, a week.  Surely that's not too much to ask, is it?  Except that God doesn't work that way.  He gave the Israelites manna everyday - for that day.  He tells us to pray, "Give us this day our daily bread."  But bread for one day never seems like very much.  I start coming up with ways to stretch God's provisions for the day so that they'll last a week or something like that.  And then...the Lord reminds me that He will give me "bread" tomorrow.  And the next day. I'm not responsible to provide for myself - ultimately, He is.  If I would only learn to trust more.

Well, that's all for today, folks!  So long and have a good week!

It's a wonderful life

It's a glorious day!  I guess every day is glorious if you have the right perspective, but today just seems extra glorious.  Maybe it's the sunshine and fresh breeze wafting in through the curtains.  Maybe it's the peaceful stillness of the afternoon broken only by children's gentle laughter.  Maybe it's the process of baking fresh bread - so enjoyable, so rewarding.  Or maybe it's the coffee brewing.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's because again I've been struck by how much God loves me.  How much He forgives.  How faithful He is to me.  How much He cares about every moment of every day of my life.  How He showers down blessings that I don't even ask for, don't deserve, and forget to thank Him for.  And I find myself thinking, He's just too awesome - I don't even have words for it.  But I feel like singing!

...

This morning I went shopping with Esther and Michelle.  A triple dose of California-ness.  (On second thought, none of us really represent CA girls very well!)  Scenic drive...relaxed pace...good conversations...I mean, seriously, who could ask for more?  It was a most delightful way to spend a Saturday morning.  When I got home, I unloaded my groceries and had a quick lunch.  The roomie had folded my sheets and towels, which was so thoughtful.  Since I didn't have that to take care of, I was free to commence my batch of bread at once.



Getting started


The finished product

Like good journalists, we took pictures to document our excursion.



First shot - trying to get the angle right...Squash! Smile! Snap! Hmm, let's try that again.



Much better.  That's Esther on the left and Michelle in the middle.  Dear sisters.  Aren't they lovely?  I am so blessed to know them!

And for anyone who likes to bake, may I recommend you try this recipe?  It is simply the BEST!!!  After trying it, I vowed I would never again buy bread while I was here in training.  Apologies to Esther...I tweaked it a bit.  But the genius behind the recipe is still hers.

~Whole Wheat Bread~

Mix and allow to sponge for 10-15 minutes:
5 cups warm water
1 cup honey or sucanat
2 tablespoons yeast
1/2 cup cracked wheat (optional but tasty!)

Add:
1 cup gluten
1 tablespoon salt
1/4 cup (heaping) raw wheat germ
1/4 cup (heaping) wheat bran
1/4 cup (heaping) raw oat bran
1/2 cup ground flaxseed
1 cup olive oil (I like to use half olive oil and half coconut oil)

Mix well. Add, slowly:
1 cup oat flour
1 cup rye flour
8-10 cups whole wheat flour (The original recipe uses only the wheat flour...try it both ways!)

Knead.  Divide in four sections and shape into loaves.  (Try using a rolling pin to make a rectangle, then roll up tightly in jelly-roll fashion.  Tuck ends under and place, seam side down, in greased loaf pans.)  Allow to rise until doubled, about 1 hour or so.  (For some reason, Esther's seems to rise faster than mine.  Not sure exactly why.  But more important than the time is the size - so just keep an eye on that.)  Bake at 350° for 35-40 minutes.  Remove from pans immediately and cool slightly before bagging.  It is my personal belief that at least one slice should be consumed as soon as the bread is cool enough to handle.  Smile and think of Esther.

...

Well there you have it, my glorious Saturday.  So tomorrow, the sun might not be shining.  I could suddenly fall ill.  The electricity might decide to quit working or we might have another flood.  But God's grace is sufficient for the day, and I'm content to leave tomorrow for tomorrow.  There's nothing God will bring me to that He can't also bring me through.  And so I wait to see what another week will hold.  It's going to be great.

DONE!!!

After what seemed like an exhausting week, the class is officially over and the last paper turned in.  I hadn't realized how much had been weighing on me until I felt that tremendous sigh of relief when the paper was turned in.

Now...to Phonetics class, the nursing home, grocery shopping, and a taco dinner/movie night in celebration of completing the class.  It won't be an early night, but we've earned the party if I do say so myself.  It's been a good eight weeks.  God has been teaching me a lot.  A lot.

Happy Friday!  Hurray for Friday evening!  Hurray for the weekend!  And hurray for life!

Woo-hoo!!!

Happy Thursday!

Reading completed.  Careful notes taken.  Eight hours of sleep.  A cup of coffee.

I'm prepared for another day of studying at home.  (No classes today - woo-hoo!)

CHARGE!!!!!

One paper completed, two more to go.  Plus a big chunk of reading I'll have to start this afternoon.  Hey, it's coming along, though!

Life is still good. Very good.

Time for coffee.

Happy Tuesday!

"Study smart - drink coffee."

...

I just got back from my morning walk.  Even the wind and the cold sprinkles on my face did not deter me.  I saw not a single, solitary soul out there.  And what, you may ask, would any decent, law-abiding citizens be doing out before 5:30?  I dunno.

Okay, enough from me.  Time to hit the books.  Or as my friend Esther likes to say, "CHARGE!!!"

Week Eight

Yikes...already?!

It's been an interesting day.  Classmate Stephen spoke in chapel this morning.  It was a cool feeling to have "one of us" up there.  I can't say it was a nice, flowery, inspirational message...It was more like, "Ouch!  I needed to hear that."  He was so right.  Sometimes we want to be heroes.  We find our security and satisfaction in what we can do (or think we can do) for God.  We like it when people tell us how wonderful we are, how great we are for sacrificing so much to serve the Lord.  We like to look at our abilities and think, "Wow, I'm pretty good at _____."  Or at least I do.  The reality is, I'm just one ordinary girl with no super-powers or anything like that.  I'm wretchedly selfish and proud even when "serving the Lord" or "doing ministry".  I certainly am nothing spectacular.  But the blessed truth - I have a spectacular God!!!!!  I don't have to be anything special.

Even after being reminded of that - guess what?  I later found myself irritated that something didn't happen the way I wanted it to.  Was it a big deal?  Of course not.  But I had to give up my plans, and I didn't like that one bit. I  know that God must have a reason for the situation, and I know I should trust Him...But selfishness keeps me from just accepting whatever He chooses to send my way.  A self-centered life is an ugly thing.

...

This early on, it's hard to tell how the week will go.  It could be a string of long days and late nights studying...or it might go quickly.  We'll see.  I did have a great study companion as I worked on my paper this afternoon...Yup, it was a cup of coffee.  My favorite recently discovered quote - "Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee."  And so I blissfully sip away.  I doubt it will make me successful, but at least it will make me happy.

Life is good even when it's not all so good.  Because...really...maybe our idea of "good" isn't God's idea of good.  We tend to think of good as meaning "comfortable".  I submit that that's a dangerous lie.  (One I often choose to believe, sadly.)

So there, I'm done writing for now.  Happy Monday, all!  Today is the day God has given us - rejoice!  Rejoice!!

Food for thought

Trials not only have an end, they have a purpose.

"For a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that...your faith...may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ..." 1 Peter 1:6

~~~

Are you praying for God's will to be changed to suit yours, or are you praying for your heart to be changed to match His?

~~~

"The worst thing we can do is pray 'Your kingdom come, Your will be done' and not expect to be part of the answer - it's like saying, 'God, accomplish Your will, but accomplish it through someone else.  I don't want my plans changed.'" - Pastor Bob's sermon this morning

Still too small

The days slip by.  You hear no news of the dying woman.  You have no idea if she's even still alive.  Every time you close your eyes, the scene haunts you - you see her still form being carried away from the village.  Spurred on by the urgency of the task, you throw yourself into studying with renewed passion.  But it just seems like you can't work fast enough.  You are conscious that the lives around you are fleeting, and you have no idea how many will slip into eternity without ever hearing of the God who loves them.  God, you plead, help me understand these people so I can communicate with them effectively. I feel like I'm facing an impossible task.
Sometimes it's just too much, and you foolishly wish that you could be back in the comfort of your home in America.  It breaks your heart to watch people around you dying without hope for eternity.  But that's why you've come.  That's why you're here.  You can't turn back.  You know you're too small.  But God's love for you is too big.  His love for these people is too big.

And you realize that you were never meant to be strong or great - that was always God's place.  Overwhelmed with gratitude, you praise Him for being what you cannot be.  God is still God, and you are not.

Too small - again

Another day dawns.  The air feels heavy and uncomfortable - a storm is moving in, you guess.   You, along with some of your teammates, decide to visit a friend - an older man in the village who has shown unusual kindness and concern for the missionaries.   On your way to his house, you see the dog-killer, now battered and bloodied, but thankfully alive.   Some of the other missionaries are visiting with her.   You sit there with the old man and try to concentrate on what he is saying, while only yards away, the woman is pleading with the missionaries to care for her children.  They speak gently to her, assuring her they will care for her wounds and try to help her get well.   She refuses to be satisfied until they promise to take her children.

Three men - two of them strangers you've never seen - walk into the village and head for the woman's house.   The old man stands up and you all follow him to where you can see the unfolding scene.  The strangers lift the woman onto a makeshift stretcher.  "She cannot die in this village," the old man says.   You wonder why, but ask no questions as you see the woman lying so still and weak.   She's going to die.   They think she's going to die, you realize and the thought hits you like a ton of bricks.   No!   She can't die now!   She hasn't heard the gospel!   We haven't told her yet.   We still don't know the language well enough.   But that's why we came - so that people wouldn't die without hearing about Jesus.   And your mind relentlessly runs over all those times since coming to the village when you were "relaxing", or distracted, or just not motivated to study the language and culture.  If you had just put in more hours studying, maybe you could have started teaching God's Word by now.  And then this woman could have heard.  For a brief instant you wish you were back in America, where you wouldn't have to see people dying without ever having a chance to hear the gospel.   You feel helpless, guilty, overwhelmed.  Everything in you urges you to do something, but what to do, you do not know.

The men begin to walk, carrying the stretcher between them.  Time seems to stand still as you watch this woman, with whom you have come to share the gospel, on her death bed.  Eternity looms before her.  Sudden tears choke you.   You can't even think well enough to formulate a prayer.  The closest thing to a prayer right now is the anguished silent cry, "God, please...I'm too small.   I need You!"   The woman disappears from view.   You may never see her again.

Too small

So there you are at the edge of the village, watching the sun set.  It seems like just another quiet evening.  Then you notice a woman slink through the village with a blood-stained machete and walk off down the trail.  Minutes later, her husband bursts onto the scene.  "She did it!  She killed him, she killed him!" he screams.  Your blood pressure shoots up several notches.  "She killed my dog - just cut his head off!"  At the word dog, you relax the tiniest bit - but quickly realize this is no light matter.

A wave of anger and disgust sweeps over the crowd that has gathered.  They begin mocking and insulting the woman who, by now, has disappeared down the trail.  "If you run now, you can probably catch her," someone suggests.  "Yeah, teach her how to behave in our village," another adds.  Horror leaps into your throat as you watch the husband - machete in hand - take off running in the direction his wife has gone.  A thousand horrible images race through your mind.  He's going to hurt her.  He might even kill her, you think.  The thought makes you sick.  But you're only a woman.  A white woman, at that.  What should you do?  What can you do??

No amount of training could have ever prepared you to face this - the raw fear and anger and compassion that you now feel.  Suddenly, you are aware of how desperately you need God.  Because you're too small to handle this alone.  You know He is supremely sufficient when you come to the end of your own strength.  He is bigger and stronger than anything you will face.  And somehow, your heart finds the courage to praise Him because...God is God.  Always and forever.

At 6:40, it is now a balmy 27°.  No frozen hair on my walk this morning, though - and I had a walking partner!  Hurray!

Happy Tuesday!