Sometimes...

...you just have to push homework out of your mind for a little bit, light a candle, and curl up in a comfy chair - with coffee and a good article to read.

Ahhh.

[Later]

The whole article was great, but I have to share this one quote with you.

"Grace is the news that nothing you can do will make God love you more than He already does.  And, conversely, there is nothing you can do that will make Him love you less."

AMEN!!

This Journey

I realize that up until this past week, I've been rather absent from the blogging scene.  Life has been very busy and I felt like I needed a break from blogging.  Or maybe (more realistically) my blog needed a break from me.  But God has been doing way too many cool things lately for me to keep them ALL to myself.  :)

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The biggest thing recently has been the process of choosing a field.

Over the past couple weeks, I wrote to four fields: Mexico, Southeast Africa, West Brazil, and West Africa.  No strong pull towards any in particular; I just needed to start somewhere.  They replied with lots of helpful, encouraging information.  Their thoroughness was a blessing.

But let me tell you about West Africa...

I've had a fear of this part of the world ever since we took phonetics last January.  As long ago as that was, I still remember lines like: "These sounds are pretty weird, but don't worry about mastering them.  They only occur in a few languages we know of, and they're all in West Africa."  I also remember hearing of various people's struggles to grasp the complicated tone systems some of those languages boast.  I mentally crossed West Africa off my list of possibilities with -

It would be way too hard for me. Let someone else go. Someone who's really good with languages. Let THEM wrestle through all that "weird" stuff; I'LL go somewhere else. [Somewhere easy...somewhere I won't have to feel my desperate need for the Lord...somewhere I can feel comfortable in my own abilities...] Or even, Lord, You wouldn't call me somewhere like that if I won't be able to learn the language...?
Three weeks ago (just before I wrote to any of the fields), some staff and students hosted a "West Africa night".  I went.  It felt sort of weird to show up, since after all, God wasn't going to call me there.  But I went.  It was a good night.  Really, really good.

You know, it was crazy - on the way home that night, I started talking to the Lord about the whole thing.  Really, until then I'd never realized how wrong my attitude was.  I'd been trusting in my own abilities.  Making decisions and leaving HIM out of the equation entirely.  No wonder I felt so overwhelmed and fearful!  But He reassured me that His grace would be sufficient for whatever I faced, and that He would be with me no matter what.  And for the first time in a long time, I was incredibly excited to see what God had in store around the next corner.  No fear.  No holding back. I knew that whatever He did was going to be great.

So I added West Africa to my list, sent off my emails, and prayed.  And waited.

Fast forward to last weekend.  I'd heard back from West Africa on Friday (the other three fields had written back by this time).

The plan was to go through the information from each field and write back with any further questions - sort of weighing the "pros and cons" - because that's just the way I do things.  I like life neat, orderly, under control.  However, by Sunday evening I seriously could not think of anywhere else but West Africa.  It was so unexpected that my mind was reeling: "West Africa?! Seriously? I haven't even written everyone back with my questions..." etc., etc., etc.

Dear Esther reminded me: "Maybe it would help if you think about it from the perspective that you've been praying about it for quite a while (along with many other people), so it shouldn't be too surprising to sense the Lord moving you in a particular direction."  Of course.  Duh!  "I've been praying for an open door...praying for the Lord's leading.  Look, an open door!  Uh...wait.  What am I supposed to do with that?!"

Having waited for so long without knowing where I was headed, I got used to it.  I was okay with "wait".  Then, in just a few short weeks, everything was turned on its head (or so it seemed), and once again I found myself struggling to have peace with what the Lord was doing.  It wasn't easy.  I cried, "I don't know what to think!  This isn't how I pictured Your leading, Lord!"  (When was the last time He did something the way I expected?!)

Then, somehow, things just started falling into place, and there was that peace.  The confirmation with each step that He was leading...

What can I say but, "Wow."  God is incredible.

There's more, but I've already written a novel, and I should close.

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So, here I am at the end of another week -

Resting in the arms of a God who loves me more than I can ever imagine.  It's the most difficult, worthwhile, beautiful place in the world to be.

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This week...

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

…the Lord opened a door in some unexpected ways!

Details to follow – once things become more official.

Today's words of "wisdom"

Sometimes it takes a queen-sized amount of courage to say, "If I perish, I perish."  Sometimes, it's another way of saying, "I give up."

...And no, I'm not really going to give up on this homework assignment.  I just might feel like it.

But if I perish, you won't hear from me again.

Reflections on Trust

"...In quietness and trust is your strength..." - from Isaiah 30:15

Trusting the Lord doesn't always make things "easier".  It doesn't always make things turn out "better".  (I used to think it did - "Trust God and everything will be peachy-keen.") Sometimes situations are still difficult and the results less-than-satisfactory to us.

Trust does give us the strength to say, in spite of that, "It doesn't really matter.  The single thing that matters most is being close to the Lord.  If I can walk with Him through this experience [small, large, or in-between] and know Him better, than it is completely worth it."

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I've been learning over the past two years - I'm not as strong as I thought I was.  And God is a whole lot stronger than I ever realized.

He is worthy to be trusted with abandon.

Creative Solutions to Life's Problem

In the absence of a homework-eating dog, feel free to try this solution...



"Oh, look, I spilled my water all over my homework!  I guess I won't be able to do it."  (Be sure to sound duly disappointed.)

As I said, creative.

Unfortunately, less-than-effective.

Proof of Life

Because I promised I'd post this weekend.

Wow!

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

In answer to prayer…

The responses have started to come in, and there is a lot (a LOT!) of information to work through.  I really appreciate the helpfulness and thoroughness of those who’ve written back so far.  And I’m looking forward to the possibility of working with some of them one day!

Over the next few weeks, I anticipate more dialogue and prayer.

Please pray with me for…

– clarity in processing all of the information and wisdom to ask good questions.

– sensitivity to the Lord’s leading.

– consistent, quality time in God’s Word in spite of the busyness.

Thank you!

Pressing on,
Rachel

A quick update

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

With each step, God has been completely, overwhelmingly faithful.  (What a surprise, right?)  Over the last week, I’ve received encouraging responses from a few of the fields on my original list.

There are still a lot of possibilities to pray about – and as I hear back from the fields, more information to process.   I don’t “feel” any closer to having one picked out, but the Lord reminds me that HE already has a place and a ministry in mind for me.  In fact, He had that plan for my life even before I was born!  So I don’t need to plan the future so much as I need wisdom to see HIS plan.

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9

Thank you for your prayers!

"Life Along the Way" has gotten lost along the way...

Currently on the radar

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

You may be wondering: “What fields is she considering?”  It feels a bit strange giving a list, because no field is better than another and certainly the needs are great everywhere.  That being said, God does have a place for each of us.  So these are the countries/regions currently on my radar:

(I’ve contacted the first two already, and what I’ve heard back has been encouraging.)

– Mexico

– Southeast Africa (Tanzania specifically)

– Brazil

– Guinea

Of course, God could have something totally different in mind – a possibility that hasn’t even occurred to me yet.  And you know what?  I’m okay with that.  He has always been completely faithful.

One step at a time!

A Change of Mind (and Heart)

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

It suddenly hit me tonight – I’m excited about choosing a field.  It all seemed so overwhelming and frightening before.   Now, somehow, God has given me peace and even anticipation in this phase of seeking His direction.  The questions remain: Where will I go?  What will I do?   I don’t know yet. But…

I’m excited to see what He has waiting for me around the next turn.

Stay tuned, and thanks for your prayers!

Where to?

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

This is a (very) long-overdue update…

My class is seven weeks into Linguistics now.  It has definitely been a stretching experience, as the skills and concepts don’t always come easily for me.  Through it all God is faithful and sufficient.  Here are a few blessings He’s given me this semester :

~ A small class – just six students, plus our instructor.  We’ve had fun learning (and running into frequent “brick walls”) together.

~ Exciting opportunities to be involved with outreach and my church.

~ Meeting new students and reconnecting with old friends.  It’s tremendously encouraging.

~ Constant encouragement and challenge as we hear real-time updates on what He is doing around the world.  (You can click here to read some of these exciting stories for yourself!)

“Where to? What next?” I often get asked.

In the midst of Linguistics and the busyness that brings, I’ve been impressed with the need to move forward in choosing a field.  The needs are vast everywhere, and honestly, I’m a little overwhelmed at the thought of having to “pick” one place out of all of them.  A sign in the sky would be nice, but if things were always laid out in their entirety, where would be the need to depend on the Lord?

So the next step of obedience?  Contacting several fields to see how I can be a part of what God’s doing around the world.

Your prayers for the Lord’s clear leading would be greatly appreciated.  I look forward to updating you (hopefully sooner than later) on how He works.

Thank you, thank you, and again, thank you!