When Your Thanksgiving is Redefined

I nearly cried when he said that American holidays didn’t matter for those of us in French class.  Because it meant that my favorite holiday of the year, Thanksgiving, would be spent in 4 ½ hours of mind-numbing language study.

I’ve never in my life had classes on Thanksgiving.  It’s incomprehensible.

I mean, Thanksgiving?  Just an ordinary day?  No!

Protesting would have done no good, so I kept my mouth shut, but I went home that day seriously deflated.  Not only do I not have the prospect of going home for Christmas, I don’t even have Thanksgiving to look forward to!

It’s ironic, I suppose.  The very fact that I fought so hard against giving up celebrating a day called “Thanksgiving” (at least the way I’m used to) makes me wonder how well I understand thanksgiving.

Giving thanks.

That’s what Paul says is God’s will for us…in everything.

I don’t think his meaning is so much giving thanks for everything, as in listing every single thing in our lives and telling God “Thank You” for each one.  If that were the case, none of us could ever hope to carry out His will for our lives.  (Although there’s nothing wrong with listing at least some things we’re thankful for!)

It seems like giving thanks in everything is more about an attitude, a heart condition.  A thankful heart receives whatever God chooses to give, trusting that is it always for a purpose.

The times I struggle to be thankful are the times when I am not trusting God – not believing that He knows (and will do) what is best for me.  Somehow the pieces that I don’t quite understand fit perfectly into His plan.  If I believe that, I will be thankful.

While I may want to be back in CA, my family crowded around my grandma’s or great aunt’s table, talking and laughing with my cousins, where everything is familiar and comfortable, that is not God’s best for me right now.

His best was a fairly normal day of classes (in a still-uncomfortable place), and a meal with fellow missionaries who graciously opened their home.

I am truly grateful that I did not have to spend the day alone.  That class got out a little early.  That I had friends to be with.  Plenty of food to eat.  A nice apartment to come back to.

I am thankful for little things, like real coffee this evening – a rare treat – and the return of Rue (I walked into my kitchen this morning, and there he was, after days without a trace of him!).

I am thankful for big things, like my NTM account statement that informed me of a gift from someone I don’t even know.

Yes, there’s much to be thankful for.

But I’m not going to pretend that I’m not homesick, because I am.  I miss the people, places, and traditions I’m most familiar with.  I don’t exactly relish giving that up, and if I had the choice, I probably wouldn’t.

Yet the place I find myself in is a valuable one.

When your Thanksgiving traditions get rewritten – when your turkey is chicken and there’s no cranberry sauce and your family is half a world away – you realize you have a choice.

You can live like Thanksgiving is just a day, a word.  Or you can surrender to God and let Him work thanksgiving deep into the very core of who you are.

What comes after Thanksgiving, if it’s only a day of the year?  Black Friday with all its sales and commotion.  But if thanksgiving is a living, breathing reality within you, then – and only then – something entirely different happens next.

It’s called joy.

Dear _____,

Rue...  I haven't seen you in days and I'm afraid that you've run away.  Why?  I liked you.  And my kitchen had as many cockroaches as you could possibly wish to eat.  I don't understand why you would leave...

Guy carrying mattress on his head...  Wow.  That stack of foam is as tall as you are.  No joke.

Taxi driver...  Am I Italian?  Yes and no, though what that has to do with my scarf, I don't know.  Your brother is a taxi driver in New York?  How interesting.  Please don't let yourself get carried away in the conversation, though.  I'd appreciate it if you got me to my destination without an accident.  (Slamming on your brakes doesn't exactly put your passengers at ease, you know.)

Little boy talking to his shadow...  If an adult did that, we'd say they were crazy.  But since you're a kid, we chuckle and call it "imagination".  Thanks for the entertainment!

Hallway window...  I'm glad you're facing so that I can catch a glimpse of the sun setting.  It's a nice break from buildings, buildings, buildings.

Baby goat on wobbly legs...  I think I'll put you on my All I want for Christmas list.  I absolutely love baby goats, and who knows, you might be handy to have around.  Have around for what?  That's the part I haven't figured out yet.

Matchmaker, matchmaker...  Make me a match.  No, not that kind of match.  The kind you use to light a pilot light.  I realized this week that running out of matches is not a good thing.  With no water heater and no microwave, I depend on my stove/oven quite a bit, and it takes a match to start it.

Phonetic drills...  Why do we enjoy you so much?  I'm not sure, but we do.  (At least my half of the class does.)  I honestly don't remember phonetics at MTC being either particularly fun/easy or particularly challenging.  That was so long ago.  Apparently I remembered something, though!

Tidbits

From this week...

The gas can for my stove/oven ran out this week (right as I was getting ready to put a pan of banana bread in to bake!), so I had to exchange it for a new one.  And I was able to take care of it all by myself.  One of my friends explained what to do, and you know, it wasn't as tricky as I thought it would be.

 

The banana bread turned out okay, in spite of the fact that I had to keep the batter in the fridge overnight until I could get a gas can.

 

It had been too long since I'd watched a sunset, and there was a gorgeous one Thursday evening.  (Pictures never to a sunset justice, unfortunately.)

 

One of the notes my aunt tucked in the package

 

Discovery: Apparently my fridge gets pretty cold.  Maybe it thinks it's supposed to be a freezer or something.

 

Mini cards and envelopes.  A fun evening project.

 

My God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that I ask or think.  I have seen that this week.

Showered

…with blessings.

 

This Wednesday God’s grace came in the form of a package from my aunt and notes from three friends.

 

Cards

Score!  Cheez-Its are one of my favorite snacks. J

Fun Fall-colored yarn

Sticky notes (because my aunt knows me all too well)

Fall-scented candles (including one of my favorites!)

Something I’ll save for Christmas

 

And there was more.  Taco seasoning and a pretty tea towel and bits of encouragement written on post-its…

 

Perhaps because thankfulness is something I’ve struggled with, I am all the more humbled when God pours out His lavish goodness on me.

 

“…from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.”  (John 1:16)

The Staples

I’ve been trying to write about things that are part of my everyday life, so you can picture what it’s like.  Since food is part of every day…

 

 

Baguettes.  They’re a staple for me.  I have them for breakfast - with PB&J, or just plain.  I have them for dinner.  I eat them with lentils or soup.  I make sandwiches (the sky’s the limit, my friend).  Sometimes I balance them across my nose just for fun.

 

Just kidding.

 

Eggs.  Green eggs and ham.  Okay, they’re not green.  And I haven’t bought ham here.  But I do use eggs a lot, Sam I am.

 

Rice.  A little over twenty minutes from start to finish (and something that requires very little attention).  Add a fried egg or two, and a side of veggies, and you have a simple meal.  I’m becoming a huge fan of soy sauce, simply because plain rice all the time gets a little boring.

 

One thing I dislike about rice is the clean-up.  The pan is hard to wash, and if gets on the counter or floor, it makes a smushy mess.  Anyway…

 

I also have a selection of fruits and veggies that I like to keep on hand.

 

Veggies: tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, carrots, frozen peas, spinach, and mushrooms.  (I’m so thankful I don’t have to live without spinach and mushrooms!  They don’t seem to be readily available in fresh form…at least I haven’t really seen them so far.  Hurray for frozen!)  I also get eggplant, peppers, and butternut squash on occasion.

 

Fruits: apples, bananas, clementines/mandarins.  Mango season is over, sadly, and watermelon is just more inconvenient to buy (or rather, to carry home).  So I don’t have a huge variety, but since my standbys are readily available, I really can’t complain.

 

Other pantry essentials: peanut butter, sriracha, oatmeal, taco seasoning, canned and dried beans, popcorn, yogurt…

 

 

Homemade granola.  Yummy!

 

(And yes, I DO eat meat.  Just not nearly as often as I would back home.)

 

As you can see, my current diet is far from gourmet.  Much as I enjoy trying new things, when I’m cooking for just myself, I can get a bit lazy.  No, not lazy.  Just efficient with my time.  (Because the less time I spend cooking, the more time I will study French, right?  Well…in theory, anyway.)

 

Tutti a tavola a mangiare!

 

Wait.  That’s not French.  That’s Italian.

Dear _____,

Lizard scurrying towards the wall to get away from me…  You jumped.  You missed.  I laughed.

Rue…  Please, oh, please stay your itsy-bitsy size forever!  I don’t want you to get any bigger.  Eat as many cockroaches as you like, just…don’t grow, okay?

Mac users…  Look, I’m not anti-Mac.  Just please don’t act like all PCs are junk or that those of us who use them are backwards savages.  My personal philosophy is simply, “Better to go with the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”  I know PCs.  (At least mine, at least sometimes.)  I don’t know Macs.  So…you can save your campaigning for someone else.  No hard feelings, right?

Litter of puppies…  If I was your mother, I’m not sure I would have chosen the side of the freeway to park my little family.  But then, if you were off in some secluded place, I wouldn’t have seen you.  And that was a nice little treat.

Brain…  Okay, 10:35pm is not the best time to suddenly come alive with various and sundry creative ideas.  It’s past your bedtime, you know.  You’re supposed to be easing into Sweet Dreams mode.  Got that?

Cockroach sitting (just sitting!) by my shoe…  What’s the matter with you, do you have a death wish?!  Happy to oblige.

Taxi driver…  No, I’m not married.  No, I will not marry you.  No, you do not need to know my name.  Just drive me to the store!  That’s what I’m paying you for, remember?

Sticky notes…  You are my sanity.  I’d be lost without you.

Two little girls who pass me every day while I wait on the stairs before class…  I look forward to your sweet Bon jour’s and cute smiles.  You brighten my morning.

Britter-fritter (does anyone still call you that?)…  You probably never thought that little plaque you bought me in Peru would make it all the way to Africa, did you?  Well, it did.  And it’s now hanging up on my wall.

Long-empty picture frame…  You sat there on my dresser for weeks, waiting for me to pick a picture that would actually fit.  In the end, I decided to use a copy of one of my favorite hymns (Come Thou Fount), and I’m quite pleased with the result.  I have a feeling you’ll make me want to start singing each time I see you.

Fellow pedestrians…  Y’all walk so. slow.  Or maybe I just walk exceptionally fast.

Non-stick skillet in lime green…  You make me happy every time I use you.  It’s the little things in life sometimes.  (Green is my favorite color, for those of you who don’t know.)

Mom and Dad…  I want to congratulate you.  You have now survived all three of your children’s teenage years.  How does it feel?  Do you need therapy?

Tootsie-girl…  One of these days I’m going to sneak you into my tote and take you home with me.  I miss having a dog.  (Tootsie belongs to one of the missionary families here.)

Lady at church…  You asked my name three different ways – except the way I knew.  Then you tried English, and I felt really stupid…  Thanks for being so gracious about it.

Sneak Preview

 

Howdy!

 

I finally got around to borrowing a hammer, level, and nails so I could hang up my picture frames.

 

 

One step closer to giving y'all the official tour.

The Story in the Mirror

Sometimes I have to smile when I look in the mirror.  Not in a wow-I-can’t-believe-I’m-so-pretty way.

No, I sometimes have flashbacks to a previous chapter in my life.  If you were to compare me then and now, you might not notice very much of a difference in my appearance.

Two or three years ago, I was a head-covering, skirts-only kind of girl.

Now let me emphasize that none of that is evil, and I believe it can be done for commendable reasons.  I myself choose to live by those convictions because I truly wanted to please God.

There’s nothing like looking back over one’s path, only to realize that somewhere along the way, a small misstep led down a road one never set out to travel on.

Whatever my motivation had been in the beginning, I eventually found that my thinking was far removed from the realm of a Spirit-led life.  My focus had shifted from Christ alone to what I thought I had to do in order to please Him.  I was a Pharisee.  I was placing myself squarely under Law and disregarding Grace.  And I didn’t even know I was doing it.

But God does not leave His children alone to blunder on forever.  He has promised to finish the work He started, and He will nudge and prick and chip away to accomplish that work.

He nudged and pricked.  He pried from my heart the things that I had clung to as both the means and the measure of my spiritual growth.

It was painful and sometimes frightening.  But in the end I stood, minus my veneer of goodness, and the truth was nearly blinding: God loved me without all that.  He loved me, not because of who I was or what I did, but because He is love.

He loves me.  I do not deserve it, and that is precisely why it’s called grace: undeserved favor.

 

* * * 

In a way, grace has brought me full-circle.

Today, as I live here in West Africa, you’ll find me once again attired in skirts and (often) a scarf wrapped around my head. 

But now I don’t do it because I think it makes me better.  I don’t do it because I think God will like me better that way.  I do it because skirts are cooler, because I like scarves, and because both are frequently worn by the women here.  (And frankly, some days it’s just a lot easier to throw on a scarf than to fuss with my hair.)

When I look in the mirror, it is not myself that I’m struck with.  It is grace.  Grace has changed me on the inside, changed the reason I do things, changed the way I live in God’s presence.

 

Sometimes the freedom makes me want to throw my head back and laugh. 

And from my decidedly feminine perspective, I kind of think the scarves are a good reminder of grace after all.  Their splash of color and loveliness and the way they can brighten up an outfit…it’s a little like the splash of beauty and brightness that grace brings to our lives.

(Sorry guys, you’ll have to come up with your own analogies.)

In the Dark

The other evening, my electricity was out for several hours (which hasn’t happened in a while – not for that long, I mean).

 

So I lit candles and pretended to be an old-fashioned lass living before the days of electricity.

 

I even took pictures with my digital camera and posted them on my blog…

 

 

Real old-fashioned, Rachel.

Progress

And I can watch it from my patio...

 

 

 

 

The pulley, the bricks, and the growing wall

You Know It's Hot When...

…You open your birthday chocolate and it looks like this.

 

(But it still tastes good!)



Dear _____,

Footprints in the sand…  Okay, it’s silly, but on my way back from class, I look for my footprints (sandal-prints, if you want to be technical) from when I was going the other way earlier.  I don’t usually find them, though.  Too many people walking back and forth in those few hours.

Construction workers…  I heard you blasting My Heart Will Go On the other day, and that struck me as somewhat comical.

Pied crows…  With your black and white markings you look very, well…dapper.  But you’re also really loud.  Wait, didn’t I just say dapper?

Dead rat by the side of road…  Congratulations.  You’re the first rodent I’ve seen since I got here, and a fine (read: large) specimen you were too...  (I’m actually surprised that I haven’t seen others in the two-and-half months I’ve been here.)

Guy walking in front of me…  Yes, I followed you on the way home from the store.  I mean, I followed your trail.  I get tired of trudging through a thick layer of sand (kind of like walking on the beach), and you obviously knew where the firmer-packed areas were, so I just walked where you walked.  By the way, thanks for not turning around and noticing me.  That would have been a little embarrassing.

November…  Can I just ask, how in the world are you here already?!  My mental calendar has never been changed from August.  (Don’t ask me why, it just is.)

Little meat stands sans refrigeration…  Let me remain blissfully unaware of your secrets.  I’ll pretend I’ve become a vegetarian.  (Not really.  I do eat meat sometimes, just not from those stands.)

Crack in the living room wall…  At first I thought I was just imagining it, but now I’m convinced: you ARE bigger than when I got here.  One of these days I’m going to come back from class and find the whole building in a tumbled heap on the ground, I just know it.

Pumpkin spice lattes (of the instant, single-serve variety)…  Hurrah!  You herald the official arrival of Fall to my little abode.  I welcome you heartily.  (And thanks, Mom!)

Scrawny, half-grown chicks…  Aren’t you a sight, you funny little things!  I shouldn’t be by now, but sometimes I’m still surprised to see “farm life” in the middle of a city this size.

Guy selling parakeets…  No, thanks; I already have a pet.  One that doesn’t smell, make noise, require special food, or have a cage to be cleaned out…

Orange-and-yellow bunting…  You perfectly compliment the color of the walls, and you lend a celebratory touch to the room.  What am I celebrating, you ask?  Well, I’ve decided that grace is reason enough to celebrate every day.

Furniture shop…  I wish you were in an enclosed area (instead of open air) that I could walk through and get the full benefit of your fresh-wood aroma.  I do so love that smell…

“Pumpkin” pie…  So you weren’t actually pumpkin, you were squash.  But you tasted nearly indistinguishable from your more familiar counterpart.  And pumpkin pie is my one weakness.  (Thank you, Muriel!)

Watermelon guy…  Bon jour to you too, and yes, your watermelon looks quite tempting.  However, the prospect of toting one of those things the whole twenty-minute walk back to my apartment is less than appealing.  If I want watermelon (and eventually I won’t be able to resist), I’ll stop at a fruit stand a little closer to home.  Thanks all the same!

Horses clip-clopping down the road…  I can’t claim you were ever part of my daily life back home, and yet you somehow have a very familiar (and happy) feel.  I like you.

MSG…  You and I aren’t on the best of terms, are we?  And you’re a key ingredient in Maggi cubes, which everyone uses in everything.  Somewhat inconvenient.  However, let’s put things in perspective: the negative effects are limited to headaches.  Thankfully nothing more serious.  I mean, I could have a nut or fish allergy.  THAT would be a bad thing to have living in this part of the world.

Red and orange dragonfly…  You were so strikingly different from any other dragonfly I’ve seen, I had to look twice before I was sure that’s what you were.  Hey, way to stand out from the crowd!

Sisters…  You’ll be proud of me.  I learned the word for sphygmomanometer in French.  (Points for the rest of you if you know what a sphygmomanometer is without looking it up.)

Friend-who-happened-to-be-online-at-the-same-time-that-one-night…  Do you know it was nearly 3:00 when I finally got to bed?!  There have only been a handful of times in my life that I’ve been up that late!  But it was totally worth it.  You’re pretty awesome, you know that?

Neighbor practicing the recorder…  It may be one of the easiest instruments to learn, but that doesn’t mean a beginner sounds good (I know, because my sisters and I “played” for a while).  Especially not on a Saturday morning when I desperately wanted (and needed) to sleep in.  See above.

Itsy-bitsy kitty…  I had to force myself to keep walking.  I so wanted to stop, scoop you up, and take you home.  You were just too cute!  (By now it’s probably rather obvious that I’m something of a softie, especially for little creatures...selected little creatures, that is.)

Dinner

 

This was last night’s dinner.  It’s called a chawarma (pronounced shwarma), and it’s a popular “fast food” item here.  Originally from the Middle East, it’s a flatbread filled with roasted meat (usually beef, although I think there might be chicken ones, too), tomatoes, onions, parsley, and a sauce, which varies somewhat depending on the place.  I think the sauce usually includes mustard, and one version I had tasted reminiscent of tahini (which wouldn’t be surprising, given its origin).  And yes, it has French fries.  I think that must be a local adaptation rather than authentically Middle Eastern.  There seems to be a great fondness for French fries here.  Pretty tasty, I must say.

 

On a random side note, when I went to Mexico, there was a taco stand that we ate at a few times.  They had a “California-style” burrito (which I didn’t try).  What made it “California-style”?  No, it wasn’t served on a surf board.  It had French fries in it.  Go figure.

Hide and Seek

There's this game we like to play.

 

 

10...9...8...

 

 

7...6...5...

 

 

4...3...2...1...

 

 

Ready or not, here I come!

 

In truth, he's probably content with just the hiding part.  Finding is the part I like. :)

Hello, Little Lovebirds

I'm surprised they let me get this close.  Granted, there was a window between us, but still.  Rather unusual.

For All the Thousand Ways

Now I will celebrate
For all the thousand ways
That You have shown me grace
And made my heart in grace to stay

Dear _____,

Taxi drivers…  It is so not in my nature to be assertive like this, but if you ask for more than what I know to be a fair price, I will insist.  (I will also feel guilty and rude when you give in, but that’s my own issue, I suppose.  Fair price is still fair price.)

Clementines…  Oh my darlings, oh my darlings…aren’t you a fun find?  Apparently not lost and gone forever.  (As I might have expected when I left the States.)

Levers, ropes, and pulleys…  In the absence of cranes, you are a common scene at the construction sites around my neighborhood.  I must admit I quite enjoy watching you at work.  Yes, your creakiness is a bit grating on the ears, but I’ll let it slide.  Only a figure of speech, of course.

Irish music...  Such a spell you can cast!  If I just close my eyes, I can picture as much green and open space as my heart could wish for…

Gecko…  Between the two of us, we’re actually making a dent in the cockroach population (at least, that’s what my optimism tells me).  You eat, I squash.  Together we forge ahead in the battle against those vile creatures.  For-ward, march!

Eggplant…  You were bitter.  That’s not nice.  If I wanted bitter, I’d suck on a black tea bag.  No, I wouldn’t.  I don’t like bitter; that’s exactly my point.

BBC radio…  Thank you for educating me on the subject of facial recognition software, background-noise-cancelling hearing aids, and other such technological wonders.  I learned a lot in half an hour.  Useless information to me, I’m sure, but fascinating nonetheless.

Butternut squash…  I would like you for no other reason than the fact that you’re a trace of Fall in a Fall-less land.  But you’re also oh-so-delicious roasted.  With butter.  And a touch of brown sugar and cinnamon.  Mmm…

Crickets & Co…  Thank you, thank you, thank you for your evening serenades.  They are familiar, calming…normal.

Sir Andrew…  I think you just might be the funniest children’s book I’ve seen, at least in a while.  You had me stifling giggles during several days of French lessons.  But you were also educational.  We learned words like well-dressed, vain, concentrate, image/reflection, ambulance, stretcher, cast, crutch…  Yes, pride goes before a fall – and sometimes it’s a literal one.

Piano Guys…  Someone mentioned a certain song in passing the other day, and now I have your version playing on repeat.  In my head.

Wireless provider billboard…  Western marketing has reached out its all-pervasive talons.  Right in the middle of your slogan – which is in French, of course – is a very American phrase: Le must have de l’année.  (The must have of the year.)  Oh me, oh my…

Cool(er) season…  You really do exist!  And you’re slowly starting to make your presence known.  Hurrah!

Garbage trucks…  I don’t like you.  Not only do you reek, you are dreadfully noisy.  On trash days, you drive through the neighborhood blasting your horn like it’s goin’ out of style.  Okay, I know you’re just letting everyone know they need to bring their garbage out.  But still, it’s not one of your most endearing qualities.  Come to think of it, I don’t think you have any endearing qualities.  (Side note: I used to dislike running on Thursday mornings back home, because that’s when the garbage trucks came.  Phew!)

Menu plan…  We’ll see if you can solve the “what’s-for-dinner” dilemma I often have.  I mean, you will solve the dilemma, if I can manage to stick to you.  Whether I can/do is another story.

Roadside nurseries…  I pass you every day and eye the plants, trying to decide what kind I’d like when I eventually get around to shopping for a couple for my apartment.  I don’t suppose you’d consider carting the whole lot to my place, would you (a la Algernon DeGrasse)?

Cherry preserves…  You make a splendid addition to plain yogurt, especially when the result is popped in the freezer for twenty minutes or so.  Much better than ice cream!  (Although that doesn’t say much, since I’m not a fan of ice cream to begin with.)

Neighbors who create a chorus of pounding around mealtimes…  Either you have a lot of recipes calling for mortar and pestle, or your children are protesting because they don’t like the menu.  Hmm.  I’m going to guess it’s probably more along the lines of the former than the latter.

Evangelists in Chains…  You sit there on my shelf, calling my name.  I will read you again someday, I promise.  I’m just afraid to start when I have plenty of other demands on my time.  I could find myself unable to resist reading you cover-to-cover every. single. day.  It’s happened before…