Summer 2018.
It was the best summer of my life.
I felt at ease, content with the rhythm life and work had settled into. Summer was slow, restful, happy. It was filled with simple pleasures and sweet memories made. It was everything a summer should be.
I soaked in every moment and it was glorious.
In naive optimism (which at times still persists, even as I near thirty) I assumed that each year it would just get better.
...Because, you know, now I'd figured it out. Now I'd learned how to plan and balance my year, I knew all the wonderful things to take advantage of during the season, and Summer was an old friend with no surprises.
Summer 2019 -
The summer after The Best Summer of My Life.
It hasn't been bad exactly, no, but it comes up quite short when compared to last summer.
There have been a dozen little disappointments, silly things like no cut flowers and much less produce at the farmers market, or no Civil War muster to look forward to.
And beneath the surface, there's a undercurrent of unsettled-ness to life this time around.
If I could have looked into future and seen that this place would be home till the end of my days, I would have been perfectly happy.
But Surprise! This campus is closing.
You already know how I feel about surprises.
The slow trickle has begun: good-byes to coworker-friends who are leaving, some retiring, some moving into other ministries.
It's a taste of what next summer's mass exodus will probably feel like, and I don't like it - not one bit.
Disappointment.
Unsettled-ness.
Fear.
There it is, swirling around inside...and it's patently obvious that this is not where God wants me to stay.
So He teaches me, points me back to His Word, reminds of what I already know to be true about Him.
To delight in God's gifts is good.
But these good gifts around us were never meant to be the anchor for our souls.
Joy and peace and hope and confidence have to be rooted in something deeper, something unshakable -
The character of God Himself.
Was there ever anything that caught Him off guard? No.
Has there ever been a big, scary new thing that He couldn't handle? No.
Hasn't He always been completely faithful and completely good to me? Yes.
Does He change? No!
Then He can be trusted with this, too - all the big and little things that make up life right now.
Part of me would so love if there was a way to hit pause when life was just the way I wanted it to be. But the truth is, I want to grow. I want to know the Lord better. If I could keep life from ever changing again, I would stop growing.
He knows what I need - what each of us needs - and sometimes it's The Summer After.
