Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Out On a Limb or, Adventures of a Tree-Hugging Californian
The experience I'm about to relate took (at least) fifteen years off my life, I'm positive. I hope it will not have the same effect on my dear mother when she reads this.
---
To begin, I must tell you that somewhere, on the other side of our cove and at the far end of a lovely, grassy field…there is a tree. Well, there are lots of trees, but there's one right along the school property line that has a small wooden platform about halfway up and a nice set of boards nailed to the trunk. For three semesters, I've harbored a secret desire to scale this tree, but never figured out a way to carry out my goal in a skirt. However, this is no longer a consideration; my wardrobe has now been expanded to include jeans. Besides, my days here are numbered and I couldn't let the opportunity slip by forever.
I decided that yesterday – a gloriously sunshiny day – was the day to conquer this tree once and for all. I hiked over to the field and found the tree. The platform was a little higher up than I remembered, but I'd set my heart on climbing that thing, and wasn't going to be dissuaded.
I walked over to the tree and looked up. Hello, Tree. I'm Rachel. I'm not afraid of you.
The tree gazed down at me. You're not afraid of me? …Just wait. You will be, mark my words.
I started climbing.
Going up was fun. Being up there wasn't half-bad. You gain a rather different perspective on the world (including a renewed respect for the law of gravity), but all in all, it's not too bad.
A wise person once said, "What goes up must come down." Unfortunately, this applies to tree-climbing. The realization seized me suddenly, and in that moment, I would have given anything to undo my actions. Why am I up here, anyway? Stupid, I told myself, stupid. Let this be a lesson to you. You don't need to live off of thrills; now look where you've gotten yourself. ( Those who know me well know that I'm by no means a thrill-seeker. I like a little adventure, but I'm quite happy to live without thrills, thank you very much.) …Here you are, 25' [actually it was only about 12'] up in this stupid tree and the only way down is to dangle your feet over the edge of this platform and try to find that first board.
I'll admit, I was scared. So scared, in fact, that I prayed. Desperately. What else could I do? I was shaking like a dead leaf in the wind. Every time I got up the nerve to dangle one foot over the edge, I pulled back in defeat and fear. The board was just out of my reach at a very awkward angle that required some twisting around to get a footing. I don't know how many times it took before I found the courage to reach out far enough to plant my feet on the first board and begin my journey back to safety and sanity.
The entire descent, I was clinging to the tree trunk for dear life. Finally I had both feet back on solid ground where they belonged. I was still shaky and somewhat lightheaded.
That's when I heard a voice. I think it was my mother's.
"Now have a cup of coffee, Sweetie, and you'll feel better."
---
And here, expressly for your benefit, is a dramatic re-enactment from this afternoon...
The moment of horrified realization: What goes up must come down. Oh, no!
"I don't want to climb down!"
---
Hay bales are definitely more my style. Trees - not so much.
To say that Michelle is fabulous would be an understatement. I'm going to miss her...
---
Hey, you down there...
...Happy Monday!
---
To begin, I must tell you that somewhere, on the other side of our cove and at the far end of a lovely, grassy field…there is a tree. Well, there are lots of trees, but there's one right along the school property line that has a small wooden platform about halfway up and a nice set of boards nailed to the trunk. For three semesters, I've harbored a secret desire to scale this tree, but never figured out a way to carry out my goal in a skirt. However, this is no longer a consideration; my wardrobe has now been expanded to include jeans. Besides, my days here are numbered and I couldn't let the opportunity slip by forever.
I decided that yesterday – a gloriously sunshiny day – was the day to conquer this tree once and for all. I hiked over to the field and found the tree. The platform was a little higher up than I remembered, but I'd set my heart on climbing that thing, and wasn't going to be dissuaded.
I walked over to the tree and looked up. Hello, Tree. I'm Rachel. I'm not afraid of you.
The tree gazed down at me. You're not afraid of me? …Just wait. You will be, mark my words.
I started climbing.
Going up was fun. Being up there wasn't half-bad. You gain a rather different perspective on the world (including a renewed respect for the law of gravity), but all in all, it's not too bad.
A wise person once said, "What goes up must come down." Unfortunately, this applies to tree-climbing. The realization seized me suddenly, and in that moment, I would have given anything to undo my actions. Why am I up here, anyway? Stupid, I told myself, stupid. Let this be a lesson to you. You don't need to live off of thrills; now look where you've gotten yourself. ( Those who know me well know that I'm by no means a thrill-seeker. I like a little adventure, but I'm quite happy to live without thrills, thank you very much.) …Here you are, 25' [actually it was only about 12'] up in this stupid tree and the only way down is to dangle your feet over the edge of this platform and try to find that first board.
I'll admit, I was scared. So scared, in fact, that I prayed. Desperately. What else could I do? I was shaking like a dead leaf in the wind. Every time I got up the nerve to dangle one foot over the edge, I pulled back in defeat and fear. The board was just out of my reach at a very awkward angle that required some twisting around to get a footing. I don't know how many times it took before I found the courage to reach out far enough to plant my feet on the first board and begin my journey back to safety and sanity.
The entire descent, I was clinging to the tree trunk for dear life. Finally I had both feet back on solid ground where they belonged. I was still shaky and somewhat lightheaded.
That's when I heard a voice. I think it was my mother's.
"Now have a cup of coffee, Sweetie, and you'll feel better."
---
And here, expressly for your benefit, is a dramatic re-enactment from this afternoon...
The moment of horrified realization: What goes up must come down. Oh, no!
"I don't want to climb down!"
---
Hay bales are definitely more my style. Trees - not so much.
To say that Michelle is fabulous would be an understatement. I'm going to miss her...
---
Hey, you down there...
...Happy Monday!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
One of today's blessings
This morning's goodbyes (which normally fill me with utmost dread and plenty of tears) to my friends at First Baptist were much easier and sweeter than I expected.
It's not that I won't miss these folks. I will miss them dearly. I will miss worshipping with them every Sunday and being part of their lives. They've been such a blessing to me.
I have no idea why it's been different this time, but I'm quite happy to credit God's grace. :)
His grace truly is beautiful.
---
"And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:6-7
"...God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope..." 2 Thessalonians 2:16
It's not that I won't miss these folks. I will miss them dearly. I will miss worshipping with them every Sunday and being part of their lives. They've been such a blessing to me.
I have no idea why it's been different this time, but I'm quite happy to credit God's grace. :)
His grace truly is beautiful.
---
"And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:6-7
"...God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope..." 2 Thessalonians 2:16
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Random
A fat, dancing rat dwelleth up in my attic.
...At least that's what it sounds like to me. I haven't stuck my head up there to see, nor do I have any intentions of doing so.
That's all.
G'night!
...At least that's what it sounds like to me. I haven't stuck my head up there to see, nor do I have any intentions of doing so.
That's all.
G'night!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Toto...
...I've a feeling we're not in Kansas Missouri anymore.
---
Tornado sirens are an absolutely wretched sound, especially at quarter 'til midnight.
Simply wretched.
---
Tornado sirens are an absolutely wretched sound, especially at quarter 'til midnight.
Simply wretched.
When Brilliant Ideas Meet Reality
Sometimes a most wonderful idea seizes you and then collides with reality head-on. It can be a jar to the senses.
The idea: "Just sitting down with some coffee," she told me. Why, what a splendid idea, I said to myself, as if the possibility had never occurred to me before.
So I got up and made a small pot of peppermint mocha coffee. (Which, by the way, is amazing stuff, although I have met some strange people who do not agree with that statement. Actually, I happen to be related to some people who think that. But I digress.) The blessed smell wafted through my tiny apartment.
I think I might overuse the word blessed. I apologize.
The reality: When the coffee was finished brewing, I poured myself a cup and took a sip. Rats, I realized with a sinking feeling, I didn't measure the water right! I put 3 cups of water in the coffee maker instead of the 2 that I should have. That's 50% MORE water than I was supposed to use. (Yeah, I felt like showing off my math skills, but don't expect any more nice statistics. If it's stats you want, you'll have ask my sister. She's the one who aced her statistics class the other year. Me...well you couldn't get me to touch that stuff with a ten-foot pole. Maybe not with a twenty-foot pole either. I don't know. Why are we talking about this, anyway?)
Weak, insipid, forlorn coffee. The stuff nightmares are made of.
The End.
The idea: "Just sitting down with some coffee," she told me. Why, what a splendid idea, I said to myself, as if the possibility had never occurred to me before.
So I got up and made a small pot of peppermint mocha coffee. (Which, by the way, is amazing stuff, although I have met some strange people who do not agree with that statement. Actually, I happen to be related to some people who think that. But I digress.) The blessed smell wafted through my tiny apartment.
I think I might overuse the word blessed. I apologize.
The reality: When the coffee was finished brewing, I poured myself a cup and took a sip. Rats, I realized with a sinking feeling, I didn't measure the water right! I put 3 cups of water in the coffee maker instead of the 2 that I should have. That's 50% MORE water than I was supposed to use. (Yeah, I felt like showing off my math skills, but don't expect any more nice statistics. If it's stats you want, you'll have ask my sister. She's the one who aced her statistics class the other year. Me...well you couldn't get me to touch that stuff with a ten-foot pole. Maybe not with a twenty-foot pole either. I don't know. Why are we talking about this, anyway?)
Weak, insipid, forlorn coffee. The stuff nightmares are made of.
The End.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Family artwork
The whiteboard is a much-used and well-loved fixture in our kitchen. It's a place to write reminders or notes, to express ourselves, and to showcase our brilliant doodling abilities.
I bring you this special glimpse of our artwork.
For the record, "Guido" is not, I repeat NOT, part of our family. Just thought I should clarify.
Decaf coffee is a pet peeve of some individuals around here...why, according to them, "decaf coffee" is practically an oxymoron!
The work schedule from one week during the summer. If you remember, I had no success finding a job. The girls teased me and called me lazy. I drank coffee and poked fun of my "empty" schedule.
I have no idea who this was supposed to be...
My family's version of a spelling bee: "Let's see who can come up with the funkiest way to spell things!"
I like our whiteboard. :)
---
And now for two completely unrelated pictures (from the weekend):
Esther and I in action
She was making envelopes and I was making cards.
Fun times!
---
Tomorrow I fly back to school. I'll admit I really like saying that, since - this time - "back to school" doesn't mean back to classes or studying. I'm no longer a student (for now, anyways).
Ah, freedom.
On that note, so long! Happy Wednesday!
I bring you this special glimpse of our artwork.
For the record, "Guido" is not, I repeat NOT, part of our family. Just thought I should clarify.
Decaf coffee is a pet peeve of some individuals around here...why, according to them, "decaf coffee" is practically an oxymoron!
The work schedule from one week during the summer. If you remember, I had no success finding a job. The girls teased me and called me lazy. I drank coffee and poked fun of my "empty" schedule.
I have no idea who this was supposed to be...
My family's version of a spelling bee: "Let's see who can come up with the funkiest way to spell things!"
I like our whiteboard. :)
---
And now for two completely unrelated pictures (from the weekend):
Esther and I in action
She was making envelopes and I was making cards.
Fun times!
---
Tomorrow I fly back to school. I'll admit I really like saying that, since - this time - "back to school" doesn't mean back to classes or studying. I'm no longer a student (for now, anyways).
Ah, freedom.
On that note, so long! Happy Wednesday!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
For kicks and giggles
'Twas The Month After Christmas
'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The cider and pies, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot--
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
- Author unknown (slightly adapted by yours truly)
---
I guess it's probably time to retire the Christmas music stations on Pandora, too. But I LIKE Christmas music! Then again, it is January. Christmas music is so last month. You're right, I should get rid of those stations.
Happy Tuesday!
'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The cider and pies, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot--
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
- Author unknown (slightly adapted by yours truly)
---
I guess it's probably time to retire the Christmas music stations on Pandora, too. But I LIKE Christmas music! Then again, it is January. Christmas music is so last month. You're right, I should get rid of those stations.
Happy Tuesday!
A change of plans
[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]
The Lord has redirected my plans slightly, and after much prayer, I’ve decided not to continue with the final phase of linguistics (7-week practicum in Oklahoma, followed by 3 weeks in Missouri).
Over the last semester, it has become increasingly clear that linguistics is not a gift that the Lord has given me. Although it’s an important ministry, I’ve realized that (at least from what I know now) He has another way for me to fit into the big picture. There are many, many opportunities to serve in West Africa including discipleship; teaching women Bible lessons, vocational skills, and literacy; mobilizing the African church to church planting; serving as hostess of the Guest House…
I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but my immediate plans are to travel back to school and spend a few weeks packing up and meeting with people. Your prayers are greatly appreciated as I move into a new phase. I’m excited to see how the Lord leads.
Thanks for stopping by. Blessings on your New Year!
The Lord has redirected my plans slightly, and after much prayer, I’ve decided not to continue with the final phase of linguistics (7-week practicum in Oklahoma, followed by 3 weeks in Missouri).
Over the last semester, it has become increasingly clear that linguistics is not a gift that the Lord has given me. Although it’s an important ministry, I’ve realized that (at least from what I know now) He has another way for me to fit into the big picture. There are many, many opportunities to serve in West Africa including discipleship; teaching women Bible lessons, vocational skills, and literacy; mobilizing the African church to church planting; serving as hostess of the Guest House…
I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but my immediate plans are to travel back to school and spend a few weeks packing up and meeting with people. Your prayers are greatly appreciated as I move into a new phase. I’m excited to see how the Lord leads.
Thanks for stopping by. Blessings on your New Year!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Not a typical morning...
...at 8:05 I hadn't had a cup of coffee yet.
---
Yesterday's words of wisdom from my sister, Beck: The family that "yays" together stays together. (I'm not exactly what she meant by that. But it sounds catchy, doesn't it?)
Tuna quesadillas are on the menu for tonight. Quick, simple, and very tasty. I love cooking - especially for my family or guests - but life has been well, busy, and it feels a little silly to spend a whole lot of time on food.
Keep it simple, Sweetie.
That's my new motto. :) It really is amazing just how often you can have people over when you don't feel the pressure to cook a big, fancy meal. But I digress. We were talking about tonight's dinner menu. Tuna quesadillas.
Tuna. Melted cheese. In a tortilla. What's not to like? Unless, of course, you're my cousin Ben, who doesn't like cheese. (Which is probably his only major imperfection.)
The original tuna salad recipe (tuna, mayonnaise, mustard, salsa, chopped onion, and a sprinkle of garlic powder) comes from my friend Esther. I added tomatoes, spinach, and diced bell pepper...then a good heaping dose of California inspiration led me to throw in cheese, pickled jalapenos, chipotle powder, cayenne, and stuff it all into flour tortillas. Of all the ways we make tuna here, I'm pretty sure this is my favorite. You should try it sometime.
Speaking of inspiration, now that I've finished my quilt, I'm really itching to do another one. Something like this would not normally catch my eye, but I happen to have an almost-seven-year-old nephew, who is completely enthralled by robots and funky space-invader type things. And then seeing my adorable little Merry prancing and twirling around at church made me want to start sewing lots of sundresses in fun little-girl sizes.
I'm sure I'll never have time for all that, but it's still fun to dream.
---
Hillsong's "Desert Song" is currently playing. I like that song.
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
---
Happy Monday!
---
Yesterday's words of wisdom from my sister, Beck: The family that "yays" together stays together. (I'm not exactly what she meant by that. But it sounds catchy, doesn't it?)
Tuna quesadillas are on the menu for tonight. Quick, simple, and very tasty. I love cooking - especially for my family or guests - but life has been well, busy, and it feels a little silly to spend a whole lot of time on food.
Keep it simple, Sweetie.
That's my new motto. :) It really is amazing just how often you can have people over when you don't feel the pressure to cook a big, fancy meal. But I digress. We were talking about tonight's dinner menu. Tuna quesadillas.
Tuna. Melted cheese. In a tortilla. What's not to like? Unless, of course, you're my cousin Ben, who doesn't like cheese. (Which is probably his only major imperfection.)
The original tuna salad recipe (tuna, mayonnaise, mustard, salsa, chopped onion, and a sprinkle of garlic powder) comes from my friend Esther. I added tomatoes, spinach, and diced bell pepper...then a good heaping dose of California inspiration led me to throw in cheese, pickled jalapenos, chipotle powder, cayenne, and stuff it all into flour tortillas. Of all the ways we make tuna here, I'm pretty sure this is my favorite. You should try it sometime.
Speaking of inspiration, now that I've finished my quilt, I'm really itching to do another one. Something like this would not normally catch my eye, but I happen to have an almost-seven-year-old nephew, who is completely enthralled by robots and funky space-invader type things. And then seeing my adorable little Merry prancing and twirling around at church made me want to start sewing lots of sundresses in fun little-girl sizes.
I'm sure I'll never have time for all that, but it's still fun to dream.
---
Hillsong's "Desert Song" is currently playing. I like that song.
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
---
Happy Monday!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Happy Birthday, Esther!
As far as friends go, she's one of the very best of the best. I'm so glad God allowed our paths to cross.
Hugs across the miles, my beautiful friend!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Food for Thought
"There is no doubt that easy-believism is a major problem in the North American religious landscape. It is a heresy, a ditch into which many fall, an attractive alternative to authentic Christianity. It is the ditch of permissiveness and compromise. No question.
"But there is an equal and opposite ditch, and legalism is its name. Legalism decries easy-believism, and rightly so. But in the process legalism often condemns God's amazing grace as well. Grace is so often characterized as permissiveness. There are pastors and ministry leaders who object to easy-believism -- fearing that their big stick will be taken away from them, and they will no longer be able to control their congregations. We do have much to fear from easy-believism. We also have much to fear from legalistic religion. We have nothing to fear from God's grace."
- Greg Albrecht, Bad News Religion
"But there is an equal and opposite ditch, and legalism is its name. Legalism decries easy-believism, and rightly so. But in the process legalism often condemns God's amazing grace as well. Grace is so often characterized as permissiveness. There are pastors and ministry leaders who object to easy-believism -- fearing that their big stick will be taken away from them, and they will no longer be able to control their congregations. We do have much to fear from easy-believism. We also have much to fear from legalistic religion. We have nothing to fear from God's grace."
- Greg Albrecht, Bad News Religion
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Over a (now-empty) cup of coffee
I love hazelnut coffee. Well, okay, I love just about any kind of coffee. It's one of my weaknesses, I guess. But I'm not going to spend this whole post talking about coffee. :)
I was going to give you the scoop on the goings-on (Is that a word? Well, it is now.) around here.
Lately I find myself listening to "Jesus Will Still Be There" an awful lot. The truth of that song strikes a chord for me. Over the past couple weeks, I found myself facing an unexpected decision that my nice, neat (and very finite) logic was ill-equipped to handle. As you know if you've followed this blog, last semester was a huge challenge for me. Linguistics is in no way my forte. I can think of hundreds of other things I would rather do, including go an entire week without coffee. Maybe even an entire month. But I digress...
Classes were over on December 16th, but there is still one more part to the course: the practicum. Seven weeks in Oklahoma analyzing Cherokee (we'd be staying at a Cherokee campground) and three weeks in Missouri to write papers (as in, 100 pages or so) describing what we had learned about the language.
The prospect was daunting, but hey, that's what we were supposed to do. In spite of my own misgivings about it all, I didn't seriously consider not taking the practicum. That is, until a friend (and classmate) said, "You know, if I were you, and I knew this [linguistics] wasn't something I wanted to do in the future, I wouldn't even bother going to Oklahoma." That made me stop and think. Thinking made me realize logic alone wasn't enough to make the decision. I spent over a week praying about it, and the Lord gave me peace that His will was for me not to take the practicum. On the one hand, it was a relief just to have clear direction - and it certainly was a burden lifted from my mind to be DONE with linguistics. And yet, suddenly, I was staring at two-and-a-half months that now looked completely different than what I'd expected. I realize there will be a lot of good-byes that I hadn't thought I'd have to say until the end of March. (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate good-byes?) It wasn't exactly what I was bargaining for. Sigh.
So the current - dare I say...plan? - is this: fly back to school on the day I'd originally planned, take a couple weeks to pack up, clean my apartment, say good-bye...and then return home. I admit (with smile) that there could certainly be some other surprises along the way. I don't take things for granted, because I've seen just how quickly things can change.
Man plans his ways, but it's the Lord who directs his steps. Ever am I glad that's His job!
---
The past year has been a very good chance to learn more about God's faithfulness and wisdom.
And grace. I can't stop thinking about it! Grace inspires a confidence and a freedom that, quite frankly, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around. Yet grace also safeguards against cockiness, against the temptation to take advantage of that freedom.
I used to think that the closer I was to the Lord, the more answers I would have, the more do's and don'ts I'd have figured out. You know what? Just the opposite has been true. T he scary thing is that we can spend all our energy trying to get our theological ducks in a row - arguing and debating and striving to be right about everything - yet completely miss out on a relationship with God. At the end of the day, all of us are in desperate need of grace.
Yes, I'm excited to know this grace better - to experience it.
And I'm excited to see what my loving Heavenly Father has planned for me this year. Even though there will likely be difficult things to face, He will still be there. His love will never change. Ever.
---
Sorry, I was rambling there. I think it's time for me to stop. Life is waiting. Happy Tuesday!
I was going to give you the scoop on the goings-on (Is that a word? Well, it is now.) around here.
Lately I find myself listening to "Jesus Will Still Be There" an awful lot. The truth of that song strikes a chord for me. Over the past couple weeks, I found myself facing an unexpected decision that my nice, neat (and very finite) logic was ill-equipped to handle. As you know if you've followed this blog, last semester was a huge challenge for me. Linguistics is in no way my forte. I can think of hundreds of other things I would rather do, including go an entire week without coffee. Maybe even an entire month. But I digress...
Classes were over on December 16th, but there is still one more part to the course: the practicum. Seven weeks in Oklahoma analyzing Cherokee (we'd be staying at a Cherokee campground) and three weeks in Missouri to write papers (as in, 100 pages or so) describing what we had learned about the language.
The prospect was daunting, but hey, that's what we were supposed to do. In spite of my own misgivings about it all, I didn't seriously consider not taking the practicum. That is, until a friend (and classmate) said, "You know, if I were you, and I knew this [linguistics] wasn't something I wanted to do in the future, I wouldn't even bother going to Oklahoma." That made me stop and think. Thinking made me realize logic alone wasn't enough to make the decision. I spent over a week praying about it, and the Lord gave me peace that His will was for me not to take the practicum. On the one hand, it was a relief just to have clear direction - and it certainly was a burden lifted from my mind to be DONE with linguistics. And yet, suddenly, I was staring at two-and-a-half months that now looked completely different than what I'd expected. I realize there will be a lot of good-byes that I hadn't thought I'd have to say until the end of March. (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate good-byes?) It wasn't exactly what I was bargaining for. Sigh.
So the current - dare I say...plan? - is this: fly back to school on the day I'd originally planned, take a couple weeks to pack up, clean my apartment, say good-bye...and then return home. I admit (with smile) that there could certainly be some other surprises along the way. I don't take things for granted, because I've seen just how quickly things can change.
Man plans his ways, but it's the Lord who directs his steps. Ever am I glad that's His job!
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The past year has been a very good chance to learn more about God's faithfulness and wisdom.
And grace. I can't stop thinking about it! Grace inspires a confidence and a freedom that, quite frankly, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around. Yet grace also safeguards against cockiness, against the temptation to take advantage of that freedom.
I used to think that the closer I was to the Lord, the more answers I would have, the more do's and don'ts I'd have figured out. You know what? Just the opposite has been true. T he scary thing is that we can spend all our energy trying to get our theological ducks in a row - arguing and debating and striving to be right about everything - yet completely miss out on a relationship with God. At the end of the day, all of us are in desperate need of grace.
Yes, I'm excited to know this grace better - to experience it.
And I'm excited to see what my loving Heavenly Father has planned for me this year. Even though there will likely be difficult things to face, He will still be there. His love will never change. Ever.
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Sorry, I was rambling there. I think it's time for me to stop. Life is waiting. Happy Tuesday!
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