I love hazelnut coffee. Well, okay, I love just about any kind of coffee. It's one of my weaknesses, I guess. But I'm not going to spend this whole post talking about coffee. :)
I was going to give you the scoop on the goings-on (Is that a word? Well, it is now.) around here.
Lately I find myself listening to "Jesus Will Still Be There" an awful lot. The truth of that song strikes a chord for me. Over the past couple weeks, I found myself facing an unexpected decision that my nice, neat (and very finite) logic was ill-equipped to handle. As you know if you've followed this blog, last semester was a huge challenge for me. Linguistics is in no way my forte. I can think of hundreds of other things I would rather do, including go an entire week without coffee. Maybe even an entire month. But I digress...
Classes were over on December 16th, but there is still one more part to the course: the practicum. Seven weeks in Oklahoma analyzing Cherokee (we'd be staying at a Cherokee campground) and three weeks in Missouri to write papers (as in, 100 pages or so) describing what we had learned about the language.
The prospect was daunting, but hey, that's what we were supposed to do. In spite of my own misgivings about it all, I didn't seriously consider not taking the practicum. That is, until a friend (and classmate) said, "You know, if I were you, and I knew this [linguistics] wasn't something I wanted to do in the future, I wouldn't even bother going to Oklahoma." That made me stop and think. Thinking made me realize logic alone wasn't enough to make the decision. I spent over a week praying about it, and the Lord gave me peace that His will was for me not to take the practicum. On the one hand, it was a relief just to have clear direction - and it certainly was a burden lifted from my mind to be DONE with linguistics. And yet, suddenly, I was staring at two-and-a-half months that now looked completely different than what I'd expected. I realize there will be a lot of good-byes that I hadn't thought I'd have to say until the end of March. (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate good-byes?) It wasn't exactly what I was bargaining for. Sigh.
So the current - dare I say...plan? - is this: fly back to school on the day I'd originally planned, take a couple weeks to pack up, clean my apartment, say good-bye...and then return home. I admit (with smile) that there could certainly be some other surprises along the way. I don't take things for granted, because I've seen just how quickly things can change.
Man plans his ways, but it's the Lord who directs his steps. Ever am I glad that's His job!
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The past year has been a very good chance to learn more about God's faithfulness and wisdom.
And grace. I can't stop thinking about it! Grace inspires a confidence and a freedom that, quite frankly, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around. Yet grace also safeguards against cockiness, against the temptation to take advantage of that freedom.
I used to think that the closer I was to the Lord, the more answers I would have, the more do's and don'ts I'd have figured out. You know what? Just the opposite has been true. T he scary thing is that we can spend all our energy trying to get our theological ducks in a row - arguing and debating and striving to be right about everything - yet completely miss out on a relationship with God. At the end of the day, all of us are in desperate need of grace.
Yes, I'm excited to know this grace better - to experience it.
And I'm excited to see what my loving Heavenly Father has planned for me this year. Even though there will likely be difficult things to face, He will still be there. His love will never change. Ever.
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Sorry, I was rambling there. I think it's time for me to stop. Life is waiting. Happy Tuesday!
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