Grace: The Growing Pains

When Peter says, "Grow in grace" (2 Peter 3:18), he implies that living in grace isn't just an instantaneous change, but a process.  And that process often involves growing pains at some point or another.

Early on I must have asked myself a hundred times, Am I getting off track here?  Can this really be true?  Through God's Word and His Spirit's work in my heart, I've come to see that yes, this really is true.  God really does accept me apart from anything I do or don't do - it's all because of what Jesus has done.  And He really does continue to accept me (that was the hardest part for me to grasp) apart from anything I do or don't do.  I'm past questioning or doubting that truth.

But I'm still adjusting to the effects of grace.  It's kind of like someone who has been confined to a wheelchair and then has an operation that allows him or her to walk again.  He or she now has the freedom to get up and walk anytime, but has to learn (or re-learn) how to walk.  Being able to walk is wonderful, but it is so very different from the way life had been before.

While I don't question grace now, I do sometimes question what it looks like.  Because sometimes grace seems to lead me in directions that are so different from the way things were before.  It's hard to remember that I'm not sitting in that old wheelchair, that rule-keeping, try-hard-to-make-God-happy-with-me wheelchair, I can get up and walk.

So why don't I get up and walk? all the time?  Why don't I jump and dance and run, for that matter?  First, because I'm not used to it.

And something else?  I'm still learning what grace looks like, but I'm also worried about how grace looks to you.  I formed my reputation, and my flesh won't let go of it easily.  So what if grace means that I don't have to take every. single. good opportunity that comes my way?  You might think I'm unspiritual.  What if grace means that unfinished to-do lists are okay?  You might think I'm lazy.

And I don't like that.  I don't want to be unspiritual or lazy…and I definitely don't want you to think I'm unspiritual or lazy!

Right at the heart of that is pride.  Ugly pride.  Peter has something to say about that, too. "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble." (1 Peter 5:5)  Pride puts me back in that wheelchair when I could be enjoying the freedom to move.

God brings His truth to mind; then I get up and walk.  Sometimes I trip.  Sometimes I sit back down in the old wheelchair again.  And, until I get to Heaven, I'll probably continue to do that.  But thankfully, I don't have to stay there.

God has made me able to walk, and He has made me to walk.