Journey to Joy

I feel pretty bubbly and happy these days.  I love my job, I love the people I work and rub shoulders with, and I just. love. being here.

 

...And it hasn't even been two months.  No other move or transition in my life has ever felt this way.  Ever.  I've been trying to process what's made the difference.

 

From the outside looking in, I could see people going, "Well, of course you're happy.  This is a much easier place to be then Africa."  Or, "Maybe that just wasn't a good fit for you.  Now that you've found where you belong, you're happy.”

 

I've thought about that a lot.

 

Was I outside of God's will before?  Is it just easier to be happy when things feel more comfortable?

 

Honestly, I think the difference has to do less with the situations themselves and more with what God has done in my life over the last couple years.

 

He's shown me the importance of having a thankful heart.  I wouldn't have necessarily considered myself an unthankful or complaining person, but when life in West Africa (or anywhere else) was difficult, my default response was not necessarily thankfulness.  I was challenged to take "The Joy Dare" and daily list three things I wanted to thank the Lord for.  Sometimes it was easy.  Sometimes it felt hard, even hypocritical, and my journal sat untouched for weeks at a time.  But...I kept coming back to it.  And a slow, almost imperceptible difference began to grow.  The discipline of giving thanks was the tool that God used to change my heart and fill it with more joy.

 

Also, with each life experience, I've been able to see His faithfulness more and more clearly.  He's shown me how good He is, how much He loves me, how He never makes mistakes, how He always keeps His promises.  Do I still struggle to trust Him sometimes?  Absolutely.  But there is less fear of the future, of the unknown, than there used to be.  More contentment to simply be where He has me in the moment.  He's used difficulties and things I don't understand to help me grow time and time again.  That gives me confidence to face the future, knowing He's going to do the same no matter where this path takes me.

 

So yes, I do feel happy to be here.  The warm, bubbly feelings may come and go; I realize that.  But my prayer is that I'll remember the lessons He's taught me so far and that He'll keep helping me grow in thankfulness, trust, and joy.