So long, 2011, so long...

It's been a good year.  A really, really difficult, crazy, boring, exciting, wonderful year.  For once, I'll keep it short.

I'm so thankful for God's faithfulness and love and His grace that has completely turned my world upside down.  Hopefully I'll find the time (sooner rather than later) to give you the highlights...because God really has done some awesome things this year.  (What a surprise!)

Proverbs 16:9 sums it up best: "A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps."

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I'm really excited to see what God has in mind for me this coming year.

Love and blessings to all of you in 2012!

By Request

My new room decor:



I love the quilt!  No more pink and purple.  :)



My cute little bookshelf





My desk and corkboard (which still need work)



My lovely dresser (along with a so-not-matching purple trash can, and WAY too much white space on the walls)



Hello, Tephra!

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There you go, Michelle!

Christmas 2011

We usually have our Christmas-get-together on Christmas Eve, so these pictures are from Saturday.  Christmas Day is generally a laid-back, eat-leftovers, work-on-puzzles kind of day.  We like it that way.  At least, I think most of us do. I 'll have to take a family poll.

Now without further ado, the pictures.

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Here's our cast of characters, minus one:

(Yes, believe me, they're ALL characters.  ;))



Sarah and her boyfriend Brian



Uncle Mike (my dad's brother) and Aunt Kim



Happy to be home!



Sleepy Elijah (and his gorgeous mommy, Mia)...

His face is enough to melt my heart.  I'm really glad he was sleeping when they got here, so I had a chance to cuddle with him.  Once he's fully awake he barely stops moving.  :)



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Real men wash dishes.



...so the gals can have fun.  (Hey, we do all the planning and shopping and cooking and cleaning beforehand!)





Isn't she cute?

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The ladies of the family



Sisters



Stars of the big screen...or not.  (This was picnik's "CinemaScope" effect.  I guess it doesn't exactly make us look like 50's movie stars, though.  Oh well.)

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Let me just say: I am a very proud auntie.  I dearly love my nephews and niece.  Who wouldn't love these kiddos?







They would barely sit still for these few shots.  It's okay; I love their grins and squirmy poses.  Aren't they all adorable?

Have I mentioned I love these little guys?

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Merry Day-After-Christmas!

Feliz navidad, feliz navidad...

"...I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart..."

---

Is it really Christmas Eve already?!  Where, oh where has time gone?

This year, I haven't been interested in the everlasting debate over whether Jesus was born on December 25.  In condemnations of Christmas trees and lights.  In a big ordeal of shopping and stressing over everything being just so.  Somehow I don't think that all matters so very much.

I'm just thankful - thankful to be home with my family and looking forward to enjoying a good dinner with some of our extended family - including my niece and nephews (I can't wait to squeeze them and kiss their adorable little faces again!).

For the miracle of Jesus' birth, a miracle that gives us something to celebrate every day of every season.

For what He's done in my life this past year.

And I'm thankful for each of you.

With so many things to be thankful for, it seems sort of silly to spend time quibbling over trivial things.  Christmas tree, no Christmas tree...lights, ornaments, stockings, or not...

Let's celebrate Christmas with God's grace in mind, with thankfulness for the many blessings (earthly and spiritual) He's showered on us.

---

Forgive me for climbing on my soapbox.  I'd only intended to wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, my dear friends!

Love,
Rachel

Recycled quote

This quote (from a good friend) was originally posted seven months ago:

"When my plans get tweaked, I picture God up in heaven saying, 'Oh, I can't wait for her to see what I've got in mind with this one!'"

Back then I don't think I was quite ready to say that myself.

Now, in the face of many unknowns, I can honestly say that I'm excited to see what my Heavenly Father has in store for me.  He's certainly brought me a long way from where I was only months ago, proving Himself faithful again and again.  His grace has always been enough, and those tweaked plans turn better than my own every time.  (I know, what a surprise!)

The past few weeks have me wondering: "So Lord...what are You going to do with these plans?"

It'll be perfect.  Amazing.

That much I know.

A Tale of Nails

Howdy, friends!



Meet Tephra.

She likes to eat.  She likes to sleep.  She likes to take walks.

One thing she doesn't like (at all) is getting her nails trimmed.  At the sight of the nail clippers, she transforms into a barking, growling, snarling little monster.  She really hates those clippers.  Unfortunately (in her estimation) her nails must be clipped from time to time.

Yesterday, Sarah decided it was high time that Tephra's ever-growing nails be trimmed to a more reasonable length.  Out came the hated nail clippers.  True to form, Tephra started whining, growling, and showing her teeth.  (Which is a completely ridiculous sight to everyone except Tephra, of course.)  Sarah scooped her up and sat down on the couch, assuring her that if she just held still, it would all be over very soon.

You'd think after all these times, Tephra would have learned that to sweetly hold still would be the quickest and easiest way to get things taken care of.  After all, those nails need to be trimmed whether she likes it or not.

Nope.  She isn't the brainiest dog on the block.

She squirmed and whined and struggled while Sarah held her firmly and began clipping.  Then the inevitable happened: Tephra jerked her paw violently at just the wrong time, and the nail got clipped too short.  This happened not once, not twice, but THREE times yesterday.  The third time was the worst.

The nail was bleeding so badly that Sarah had to use a special powder to staunch the flow.  Tephra fought that, too.  How stupid!  Didn't she realize that this would help her?!  Sarah (being quite a bit wiser than Tephra) did what she had to do, in spite of Tephra's struggles and obvious distaste for the process.  She stopped the bleeding, finished trimming the nails, and gently stroked Tephra to calm her.

Eventually Little Trouble quieted down and lay, still shaking, in Sarah's arms.

Thanks to her struggles, the experience - which could have been relatively painless - was traumatic.

---

Sometimes, I'm a whole lot more like Tephra than I'd like to admit.  When God takes out the spiritual nail clippers, I'd much rather fight the process than simply submit to whatever needs to be done in my life.  Fighting God is never worth it, and I know that, just as I'm sure that the memory of bleeding, too-short nails stays in Tephra's tiny little head (that's probably why she's so scared to get them trimmed!).

Thankfully, God does not let my whining and struggles keep Him from doing what He knows is for my good.  He doesn't "lose His temper" or give up on me; He continues to gently clip away at the areas that need trimming.

It's just one more way He demonstrates His grace towards me.

I'm home.  :)

The semester

It's officially over.

Wow, did it not just completely breeze by?!  Yes and no.  More "no" than "yes".

But please, don't expect me to answer any real questions right now.  Or to do any real thinking.  Actually, don't expect me do any thinking.

I'm on vacation.

I'll save all of my profound musings for when I get home.

Oh, just one more thing -

Look out, West, because here we come!

Today is...

...the last day of the semester.
I think I'll appreciate the miracle of that a bit more when I leave.  I am thankful, just distracted with the packing, cleaning, etc.  And tired.

Lindsey and I push off early tomorrow morning.  The road trip will be (I hope) just the thing we need: a few days to unwind before getting home.  Definitely looking forward to it.

To be really honest, this semester has been brutal.  But, hallelujah, it's almost over!

:D

If I could say anything about this year...

...it would be this:

Grace has rocked my world to the very foundation.

And the best part?  I'm pretty sure God isn't done yet.  :)

"...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

The countdown begins...

No Room?

Mr. B, a family friend, shared this story with us yesterday.  (I'm not sure what the original source was.)  Enjoy!

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It was the biggest night of the year in a little town called Cornwall.  It was the night of the annual Christmas pageant.  Since there are no nearby malls or cities to compete with, the pageant is packed out every year.  It's an especially big deal for the children in town - they get to try out for the roles in the Christmas story.  Everybody wants a part.

...Which leads us to the problem of Harold.  Harold really wanted to be in the play, too, but he was - well, he was kind of a slow and simple kid.  The directors were ambivalent - I mean, they knew Harold would be crushed if he didn't have a part, but they were afraid he might mess up the town's magic moment.  Finally, they decided to cast Harold as the innkeeper - the one who turns Mary and Joseph away the night Jesus is to be born.  He had only one line - "I'm sorry, we have no room."  Well, no one could imagine what that one line was going to do to everyone's Christmas.

The night of the pageant the church was packed, as usual.  The set was in place - and in fact, it was an entire wall with scenes of Bethlehem painted on it - including the door of the inn where Harold would greet - and then turn away - the young Jewish travelers.

Backstage, the angels were playing frisbee with their halos, the shepherds were waiting until the last minute to put on their annually laundered bathrobes...and Harold was being personally coached by the nervous directors.  "Now remember, Harold, when Joseph says, 'Do you have a room for the night?', you say...you say..."  Hesitantly, Harold said, "I'm sorry...we have no room."  The directors looked at each other sort of hopefully.  They'd done all they could.

Well, the Christmas story unfolded according to plan - angels singing, Joseph's dream, you know, the trip to Bethlehem.  Finally, Joseph and Mary arrived at the door of the Bethlehem inn, looking appropriately tired, discussing whether the baby might come tonight.  Joseph knocked on the inn door.  Backstage, the directors were just out of sight, coaching Harold to open the door NOW.  And wouldn't you know it - the door was stuck!  The whole set shook; Harold tried to get that door open.  When he finally did, Joseph asked his question on cue - "Do you have a room for the night?"

Harold froze.  From backstage, a loud whisper - "I'm sorry - we have no room."  And Harold mumbled, "I'm sorry - we have no room."  And, with a little coaching, he shut the door.  The directors heaved a sigh of relief - prematurely.  As Mary and Joseph disappeared into the night, the set suddenly started shaking again - and the door opened.  Harold was back!  And then, in an unrehearsed moment that folks would not soon forget, Harold went running after the young couple, shouting as loud as he could - "Wait!  Wait!  You can have MY room!"

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Isn't that simply precious?

The Best Kind of Friends

In response to my recent newsletter (in which I shared how God was leading me towards West Africa), I received this email.  John and his wife Erin were two of my classmates and still very dear friends.

[edited slightly]

"Holy suffering cats.  Let me put some of that fear back in you!

Just kidding.  How exciting, Rachel.  God is amazing, and I wouldn't put it past Him to put a region on your mind like that.  As much as we love logic and reason He has many means to convince us of things.

...praising God with my little sister...

I can't wait to go tell Erin the news.

Your bro,
John"

I have no explanation for his colorful expression at the beginning, but the whole email made me smile.  The friendships I've made here during the training are some of the dearest I've ever had.  They're more than friends.  They're family, friends, and coworkers all wrapped up together.  The things I have learned from them and with them are priceless.

Brothers and sisters for life - and beyond.

I am very, very blessed.

Who am I?

The theme was "dress-up-as-your-favorite-Bible-character" at Awana last night.  The "favorite" part wasn't too realistic, since probably at least the top five on my favorite list are men.  Of course, dressing up as any Biblical character (especially a woman) isn't all that realistic.  What did they look like, anyway, and how would you know them apart?  But for my kids, I had to give it a shot.  Guess who I was?

...Hello, I'm Rachel.

Or Rebecca.

Or Sarah.

Or Leah.

Or Miriam, or Esther, or Ruth.

I could even be Hephzibah or Zipporah.

Or not.

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Hello, I'm Rachel.  Not the wife of Jacob.  Rachel, the Sparks leader who didn't get any further in her costume designing than the somewhat-Biblical-looking headscarf.

You know, there are at least a million ways to wear a sheet (over one's clothes, of course), but with only about 30 minutes and a few safety pins, all of them are equally frustrating.  Okay; maybe I didn't try a million ways, but it was close enough.  My time was up, and I had to head out the door with just what I'd managed to come up with so far.  Those poor kids.  I was letting them down tremendously.  Their impressionable minds would be so traumatized.

The worst part was, when I first walked in, NO ONE was dressed up.  Great, I thought, now I look like a complete dufus!  (Not that that's an entirely new thing, mind you.)  Don't worry, I didn't get my themes mixed up.  Once I looked around, I saw others with costumes on.  Whew!  Believe me, THAT was a relief!

One little guy (not in my group) came up to me and commented on the headscarf, "Even though you wear that all the time, it still counts as dressing up."  Thanks, little buddy.  Hee hee!

Another walked past and exclaimed, "You're too big for that!"  Really?!  I wonder if he noticed that even our director was dressed up.

I was curious to see what the kids would come up with for their costumes.  We had the predictable ones: girls with robes, blankets on the head, and baby dolls (for Mary); boys with similar outfits - minus the doll (for Joseph); angels; girls with princess dresses and tiaras (for Queen Esther).  One little girl dressed up like the typical "Mary", but brought a basket for her doll.  Points for originality, little "Miriam."  The reindeer was original, too, although I'm pretty sure that reindeer don't qualify as Bible characters.  Sorry, Joseph.

But my two favorites of the night were these: a little girl in a very fancy princess outfit, who I thought must surely be some queen.  I overheard one of the leaders ask her who she was.  "Mary," she replied, "after she was dead."  Um...okay.  I'm not sure I want to know where that idea came from!

And then there was Samuel, a very cute and VERY energetic little boy who tossed his tan towel down on the floor and pulled off his coonskin cap (revealing a nice tuff of hair standing straight up - I had to laugh!) before the night had even started.  Coonskin cap and tan towel?  Yeah, I couldn't figure it out either.  He was John the Baptist, he told us.  Oh, of course!  ;)

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Hello, I'm Rachel, an almost-former Sparks leader.  Next week is my last time with these kids, and I'm going to miss my little guys so much.

It's been a wonderful experience.

Dad turned half a century today.

Half a century.
...It sounds so old to say it like that.

(Which is precisely why I did.)

Happy Tuesday!

This morning was greeted by a very joyful squeal when I looked out my window and saw...



SNOW!!!

As you can see, it's not much more than a light dusting at this point, but the flakes are still coming down.  I can't wait to walk to class and hear the crunch, crunch under my shoes.  Beautiful, glorious snow!

How am I ever going to sit through class this morning?  I feel like a little kid.  :)

Esther, I really wish you were here so we could enjoy it together.  I'm pretty sure most of my beloved classmates will be griping about it the whole morning.

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Thank You, Lord, for sending the snow!

Waves, Peter, and a Big God

It's December.  It's 30° right now - actually, that number hasn't budged all day (we could almost get snow!).  Candles and coffee and no-homework afternoons are all good.

The no-homework afternoon is actually why I'm here, finally writing a post that has been churning in my mind for a few weeks.

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It's one of my favorite stories in the gospels (Matthew 14):

Boisterous waves, a small fishing boat, a group of terrified fishermen - and the power of a God perfectly in control.

Earlier in the day, the disciples had witnessed one of Jesus' most well-known miracles: the feeding of 5,000+ people.  It was an incredible display of creative power.  Only God could provide ample food for all those people from a little boy's lunch.  That evening, Jesus sent the disciples in a boat to cross the lake.  They found themselves in the middle of the lake when a terrific storm arose and they became greatly afraid.  And then...Jesus came towards them, walking on the water.  They thought He was a ghost. "It is I; do not be afraid," He assured them.  (Should it have been surprising to them that the God who fed all those people less than 24 hours before was also stronger than this storm?)

The sight of Jesus sparked something in Peter, who called out from the familiarity (and relative "safety") of the fishing boat, "Lord, if it's really You, ask me to come to You on the water!"  At Jesus' invitation, he climbed over the side of the boat and started walking.  [That takes guts!  I've been canoeing on the lake here at the training center, and believe me, I would not EVER step out of that boat.  Especially not in a storm!]  But Peter quickly lost his courage when he saw the waves.  He lost his focus, and therefore, his footing.  As he began sinking, he cried out in desperation, "Lord, save me!"

Next comes that beautiful little word immediately.  I'm not sure I gave it much notice until I read through this story just a few weeks ago.  Isn't it wonderful, though, how Jesus responded?  He didn't frantically scramble over to where Peter was sinking.  He was just instantly there, and He "reached out His hand and caught him" (vs. 31).  He had perfect peace, perfect control over the situation.

Sometimes raw courage collides with the reality of life's storms.  It seems our human perspectives are drawn to the storm like a magnet, and pretty soon, all we see are the waves.  We can't seem to look past our circumstances and see that our Heavenly Father is right there with us.  We forget He is still in control, that He is both able and willing to reach out and pull us up.

Yes, I've found myself exactly where Peter was - on numerous occasions this semester.  Confronted by things quite impossible for me to handle.  Staring at assignments thinking, "There's just no way I can do this."  Wondering how on earth I'm going to get through another week - or another day - of this.  Overwhelmed by what one of my teachers calls "the weight of my not-enough-ness".

I'll guess that you've also found yourself there at one point or another.

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We learn more from this story then just God's incredible power.  We also see His patience and His compassion even when Peter (and the rest of the disciples) showed an inexcusable lack of trust.  That's comforting, isn't it?

And the coolest thing is, Peter's God is MY God.  He hasn't changed one tiny bit since then.  I may not be a fisherman on a lake in the middle of a storm, but God is still God, and He still works miracles.  He's still way bigger than anything that comes my way.  Or yours.

A new favorite word

Portmanteau.

Port. Man. Toe.

Portmanteau, baby!

I have way more fun saying (or writing) that than I do actually doing it.  That being said, I shall now proceed to tackle the rest of that homework assignment before it tackles me.

Eeek!  Here it comes!

Ep. 6: Only Two

Sunshine.

Mud!

Ep. 5: Only Two

Portmanteau, anyone?

Ep. 4: Only Two

Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!!

Ep. 3: Only Two

Almost done...

Ep. 2: Only Two

me = zombie

Ep. 1: Only Two

Keep...moving...

Ep. 7: Today I'm thankful for...

On the lighter side:

I'm thankful you have all forgotten the promise I made a week ago that "Waves, Peter, and a Big God" was next on the posting agenda.  Obviously it wasn't.  (I had very good intentions...)

I can assure you I haven't forgotten about it.  I've been too busy to write it all, but I wanted to stay in the habit of posting here and there.  (Or every day, as the case was.)  Besides, it was Thanksgiving last week, so it seemed fitting to write about things I was (am, should be) thankful for.

This week's xanga series: two words a day.

Yup.  Two (and only two) words to describe each day.  This could be interesting...

Ep. 6: Today I'm thankful for...

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Later this morning, we'll be off for a bit of Christmas shopping together.  Fun!   :)

Ep. 5: Today I'm thankful for...

God's timing.

It's rarely the same as mine.

Ep. 4: Today I'm thankful for...

Missing you today, dear friend.  Hugs across the miles!

Ep. 3: Today I'm thankful for...

Big things, little things, in-between things:

- my family

- a very nice little apartment with heat that works

- plenty of food and clothes

- the four semesters I've had here in training (an absolutely incredible blessing!)

- the steaming cup of coffee in my hand

- the colder weather which (hopefully) will bring snow before the end of the semester

- being able to study God's Word for myself (in my own language, with tons of resources at my fingertips)

- staff here who have poured their lives into mine and have modeled walking by faith

- Christmas Break coming up in just a few weeks (hurray!)


And more.  :)

Ep. 2: Today I'm thankful for...

(Currently playing on the radio)

I'll be by your side wherever you fall

In the dead of night whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you...
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I'm thankful my Heavenly Father is always here with me.

Always.

Always.

Today I'm thankful for...

THIS:

"...You...delight to show mercy." (from Micah 7:18)

Isn't that cool? -- that God not only shows us mercy, but He delights to do so.

I don't know about you, but I'm mighty thankful God's mercy is a delight and not a drudgery to Him.

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Thank You, Lord, for the mercy You show me every single day!

Remember Zoe?

The darling little bear with the equally darling little rose?



Well, today the mail brought a cheery surprise: a letter from my friend Mrs. W...and along with the letter, a wee friend for Zoe.



His name is Fee.  And he's even tinier than Zoe!

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That's all.  Maybe next time I'll post something more substantial.

...Really, there's a lot I could say but I don't have the time or the motivation to write it all right now.  Something along the lines of, "Waves, Peter, and the Big Storm."  No, scratch that.  "Waves, Peter, and a Big God."  That's more like it.

But that will have to wait until next time, my friends.

It's time to face the current "storm".

Homework.

Currently playing: While I'm Waiting (by John Waller)

One thing I've been learning this semester is that waiting on God is totally worth it.

I remember the day when...

...Sister #3 (or 2, depending on how you count) joined the family.

It was a good day.  :)

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So there you go, Baby Cakes.  It was the best I could do.  If I were actually there I'd make you a real cake (or ice cream) and lots of coffee.  Just sayin'.  ;)

"How do you take your morning coffee?"

"In a puddle, thank you."



So I made a fresh pot.  What else was I to do?

Quotable

"Mommy, God made 1 through 3!"

- my friend's 4-year-old daughter

:)

Knowing God is a greater privilege than I could have ever dreamed.

Today's song

That's all.  :)

Cause for Thankfulness

Currently playing: All is Well by Robin Mark

"...All my changes come from Him
He who never changes
I'm held firm in the grasp
Of the Rock of all the ages...

All is well with my soul
He is God in control
I know not all His plans
But I know I'm in His hands..."

---

I like that.  It sums up everything I have to be thankful for right now.

Quilting Weekend

Every semester, one of the staff ladies plans a quilting weekend.  She picks a pattern that's simple enough for the top (minus borders) to be completed in a single weekend.  It's fun to see how the same pattern can have a completely different feel depending on the fabrics used.

Here are some of the quilts that were in progress:



A rose-patterned theme - just the kind of thing my Grandma would like

(I really wish I'd taken a picture last night, when all the rows were laid out, but this was the best I could do.)



Fun retro theme



Blurry batik theme (the "blurry" part is the fault of my camera, not the quilter)



This was my favorite



I love, love, LOVE the colors on this one!

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I didn't have a quilt of my own to work on this weekend, so I'm going to cheat and post pictures of the two I have done.  Both are the same pattern, "Yellow Brick Road".

You may remember this one from the summer...



It's waiting for me at home, quilted and ready for the binding.

And here's my very first quilt, which hasn't yet appeared on the blog.  It was a fun Christmas Break project last year.



Can you guess what my two favorite colors are?!



See that gorgeous cream paisley?  Mom found that one.  It's the "zinger" that brought all the other fabrics together.  I also love the dark brown batik.

---

I hope inspiration can be stored up for a later time.  I'm totally inspired to make another quilt, but there's no time for that right now.  It's still fun to plan, though.

Speaking of plans, I should get on with my grand plans for enjoying this drizzly Fall day.  (Which translated means: I'm going to light some candles, drink tea, and stay inside most of the day.  And yes, I will do some studying.)

So long!  Thanks for stopping in.

Chapel Quote

"We're all presented with great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."

- Dave M.

Delusions

Look, Esther!  I really AM Superwoman!  See?  See?



Calm down, everyone.

No, I don't really think I'm Superwoman.  Even in my dreams.  And no, I really don't want to be Superwoman.  Even in my dreams.

...I just felt a little goofy this afternoon, hence today's featured picture.  Thank you for periodically indulging my craziness.

(And yes, "triathalon" is misspelled.  It should be "triathlon".  Just so we're all clear.)

Happy Thursday!

Awesomeness

Afternoon iced coffee.

It's something the Little Sis got me (totally) hooked on when I was home this summer.  I'd do it everyday if I could.

So here's to you, Sarah!

A package from home

It came yesterday.

Sometimes...

...you just have to push homework out of your mind for a little bit, light a candle, and curl up in a comfy chair - with coffee and a good article to read.

Ahhh.

[Later]

The whole article was great, but I have to share this one quote with you.

"Grace is the news that nothing you can do will make God love you more than He already does.  And, conversely, there is nothing you can do that will make Him love you less."

AMEN!!

This Journey

I realize that up until this past week, I've been rather absent from the blogging scene.  Life has been very busy and I felt like I needed a break from blogging.  Or maybe (more realistically) my blog needed a break from me.  But God has been doing way too many cool things lately for me to keep them ALL to myself.  :)

---

The biggest thing recently has been the process of choosing a field.

Over the past couple weeks, I wrote to four fields: Mexico, Southeast Africa, West Brazil, and West Africa.  No strong pull towards any in particular; I just needed to start somewhere.  They replied with lots of helpful, encouraging information.  Their thoroughness was a blessing.

But let me tell you about West Africa...

I've had a fear of this part of the world ever since we took phonetics last January.  As long ago as that was, I still remember lines like: "These sounds are pretty weird, but don't worry about mastering them.  They only occur in a few languages we know of, and they're all in West Africa."  I also remember hearing of various people's struggles to grasp the complicated tone systems some of those languages boast.  I mentally crossed West Africa off my list of possibilities with -

It would be way too hard for me. Let someone else go. Someone who's really good with languages. Let THEM wrestle through all that "weird" stuff; I'LL go somewhere else. [Somewhere easy...somewhere I won't have to feel my desperate need for the Lord...somewhere I can feel comfortable in my own abilities...] Or even, Lord, You wouldn't call me somewhere like that if I won't be able to learn the language...?
Three weeks ago (just before I wrote to any of the fields), some staff and students hosted a "West Africa night".  I went.  It felt sort of weird to show up, since after all, God wasn't going to call me there.  But I went.  It was a good night.  Really, really good.

You know, it was crazy - on the way home that night, I started talking to the Lord about the whole thing.  Really, until then I'd never realized how wrong my attitude was.  I'd been trusting in my own abilities.  Making decisions and leaving HIM out of the equation entirely.  No wonder I felt so overwhelmed and fearful!  But He reassured me that His grace would be sufficient for whatever I faced, and that He would be with me no matter what.  And for the first time in a long time, I was incredibly excited to see what God had in store around the next corner.  No fear.  No holding back. I knew that whatever He did was going to be great.

So I added West Africa to my list, sent off my emails, and prayed.  And waited.

Fast forward to last weekend.  I'd heard back from West Africa on Friday (the other three fields had written back by this time).

The plan was to go through the information from each field and write back with any further questions - sort of weighing the "pros and cons" - because that's just the way I do things.  I like life neat, orderly, under control.  However, by Sunday evening I seriously could not think of anywhere else but West Africa.  It was so unexpected that my mind was reeling: "West Africa?! Seriously? I haven't even written everyone back with my questions..." etc., etc., etc.

Dear Esther reminded me: "Maybe it would help if you think about it from the perspective that you've been praying about it for quite a while (along with many other people), so it shouldn't be too surprising to sense the Lord moving you in a particular direction."  Of course.  Duh!  "I've been praying for an open door...praying for the Lord's leading.  Look, an open door!  Uh...wait.  What am I supposed to do with that?!"

Having waited for so long without knowing where I was headed, I got used to it.  I was okay with "wait".  Then, in just a few short weeks, everything was turned on its head (or so it seemed), and once again I found myself struggling to have peace with what the Lord was doing.  It wasn't easy.  I cried, "I don't know what to think!  This isn't how I pictured Your leading, Lord!"  (When was the last time He did something the way I expected?!)

Then, somehow, things just started falling into place, and there was that peace.  The confirmation with each step that He was leading...

What can I say but, "Wow."  God is incredible.

There's more, but I've already written a novel, and I should close.

---

So, here I am at the end of another week -

Resting in the arms of a God who loves me more than I can ever imagine.  It's the most difficult, worthwhile, beautiful place in the world to be.

---

This week...

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

…the Lord opened a door in some unexpected ways!

Details to follow – once things become more official.

Today's words of "wisdom"

Sometimes it takes a queen-sized amount of courage to say, "If I perish, I perish."  Sometimes, it's another way of saying, "I give up."

...And no, I'm not really going to give up on this homework assignment.  I just might feel like it.

But if I perish, you won't hear from me again.

Reflections on Trust

"...In quietness and trust is your strength..." - from Isaiah 30:15

Trusting the Lord doesn't always make things "easier".  It doesn't always make things turn out "better".  (I used to think it did - "Trust God and everything will be peachy-keen.") Sometimes situations are still difficult and the results less-than-satisfactory to us.

Trust does give us the strength to say, in spite of that, "It doesn't really matter.  The single thing that matters most is being close to the Lord.  If I can walk with Him through this experience [small, large, or in-between] and know Him better, than it is completely worth it."

---

I've been learning over the past two years - I'm not as strong as I thought I was.  And God is a whole lot stronger than I ever realized.

He is worthy to be trusted with abandon.

Creative Solutions to Life's Problem

In the absence of a homework-eating dog, feel free to try this solution...



"Oh, look, I spilled my water all over my homework!  I guess I won't be able to do it."  (Be sure to sound duly disappointed.)

As I said, creative.

Unfortunately, less-than-effective.

Proof of Life

Because I promised I'd post this weekend.

Wow!

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

In answer to prayer…

The responses have started to come in, and there is a lot (a LOT!) of information to work through.  I really appreciate the helpfulness and thoroughness of those who’ve written back so far.  And I’m looking forward to the possibility of working with some of them one day!

Over the next few weeks, I anticipate more dialogue and prayer.

Please pray with me for…

– clarity in processing all of the information and wisdom to ask good questions.

– sensitivity to the Lord’s leading.

– consistent, quality time in God’s Word in spite of the busyness.

Thank you!

Pressing on,
Rachel

A quick update

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

With each step, God has been completely, overwhelmingly faithful.  (What a surprise, right?)  Over the last week, I’ve received encouraging responses from a few of the fields on my original list.

There are still a lot of possibilities to pray about – and as I hear back from the fields, more information to process.   I don’t “feel” any closer to having one picked out, but the Lord reminds me that HE already has a place and a ministry in mind for me.  In fact, He had that plan for my life even before I was born!  So I don’t need to plan the future so much as I need wisdom to see HIS plan.

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9

Thank you for your prayers!

"Life Along the Way" has gotten lost along the way...

Currently on the radar

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

You may be wondering: “What fields is she considering?”  It feels a bit strange giving a list, because no field is better than another and certainly the needs are great everywhere.  That being said, God does have a place for each of us.  So these are the countries/regions currently on my radar:

(I’ve contacted the first two already, and what I’ve heard back has been encouraging.)

– Mexico

– Southeast Africa (Tanzania specifically)

– Brazil

– Guinea

Of course, God could have something totally different in mind – a possibility that hasn’t even occurred to me yet.  And you know what?  I’m okay with that.  He has always been completely faithful.

One step at a time!

A Change of Mind (and Heart)

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

It suddenly hit me tonight – I’m excited about choosing a field.  It all seemed so overwhelming and frightening before.   Now, somehow, God has given me peace and even anticipation in this phase of seeking His direction.  The questions remain: Where will I go?  What will I do?   I don’t know yet. But…

I’m excited to see what He has waiting for me around the next turn.

Stay tuned, and thanks for your prayers!

Where to?

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

This is a (very) long-overdue update…

My class is seven weeks into Linguistics now.  It has definitely been a stretching experience, as the skills and concepts don’t always come easily for me.  Through it all God is faithful and sufficient.  Here are a few blessings He’s given me this semester :

~ A small class – just six students, plus our instructor.  We’ve had fun learning (and running into frequent “brick walls”) together.

~ Exciting opportunities to be involved with outreach and my church.

~ Meeting new students and reconnecting with old friends.  It’s tremendously encouraging.

~ Constant encouragement and challenge as we hear real-time updates on what He is doing around the world.  (You can click here to read some of these exciting stories for yourself!)

“Where to? What next?” I often get asked.

In the midst of Linguistics and the busyness that brings, I’ve been impressed with the need to move forward in choosing a field.  The needs are vast everywhere, and honestly, I’m a little overwhelmed at the thought of having to “pick” one place out of all of them.  A sign in the sky would be nice, but if things were always laid out in their entirety, where would be the need to depend on the Lord?

So the next step of obedience?  Contacting several fields to see how I can be a part of what God’s doing around the world.

Your prayers for the Lord’s clear leading would be greatly appreciated.  I look forward to updating you (hopefully sooner than later) on how He works.

Thank you, thank you, and again, thank you!

Confessions

Confession 1 -

Red never has been my color.  Well, it is on Wednesday nights now.  This is my first year helping in Awana, and I get to be a leader in Sparks.  In spite of the chaos (these are K-2nd graders, folks!), I'm enjoying it immensely.

Confession 2 -

Tonight's theme was "What NOT to Wear".  The idea was to wear something mismatching, thus the clashing scarves and two different earrings (which I realize you can't see in the picture)...

It was actually fun.  Or funny - maybe I should say it that way.

---

In response to a VERY hard squeeze around the waist from one of my little Sparkies...

Rachel: Are you trying to hurt me or are you trying to hug me?!

Joseph: Trying to hurt you!

Well then!

Confession 3 -

I love little boys.  They exhaust me sometimes, it's true, but I love them.

Every single one of 'em --

Braven.

Cole.

Joseph.

Evan.

Bryan.

Micah.

Will you please pray with me for them?  I want the Lord to use me to impact their young lives somehow.  I don't get a lot of time with them, and I don't want it to be wasted.

When Old Meets New

My friend sent me an email this week, telegram-style.  Gotta love it.

Woke at 7:10am fully ready for new day Stop

Room cleaned Stop

Amazing Stop

Back from grocery shopping Stop

Groceries make me think of you Stop

Barely time for lunch before leaving for Patterson Stop

Field related response too long for telegram Stop
........

I like the "groceries make me think of you" part...we used to do our grocery shopping together when she was here.  I miss that.

---

Speaking of this week, the mountain of homework finally came to an end (albeit temporary) yesterday.  And I'm still alive.  Whew!  It wasn't easy and I know really butchered that language we were working on...but it's done.  And God's grace is the hero once again.

So now -
Hurray for a weekend with no homework!!!  This little break came at the perfect time.  (I love how the Lord does that.)  This past week was super busy and next week is shaping up to be also.  Prayers are appreciated as always!

I really wish I had more time.  My brain is full of wonderful ideas for posts, but alas, they will have to wait for the nebulous "some day".

Happy Saturday...and second day of Fall!

Until next time, then.

That Time of Year

Again?  Already?  No, I'm not complaining.  I like Fall, mostly.

There's a subtle color change in the trees around here. I was just noticing it the other day.  When the wind blows, you can see the leaves fluttering to the ground.  There is something beautiful about that, I think.  The days are getting shorter and cooler - and we've had a few drizzly ones this week.

It's the perfect time of year for apple cider, pumpkin bread, and hot bowls of soup.  Or for curling up with a good book, lighting scented candles (Wait!  I do that all year...), or fabric shopping for fun sewing projects.

Well, none of those are on the agenda for today (except the 'lighting scented candles' part).  Or next week, for that matter.  Today it's more like this -

~bake bread

~look for tickets home for Christmas

~do laundry

~clean

~write a note

~memory work (I just started working on 1 Peter this week, and I love, love, LOVE that book!  My goal is to memorize the whole thing by the end of the year.  Maybe more on that another time.)

~visit with Jackie (a staff lady)

~post on Xanga

---

And this week, you ask, what was it like?  To be honest, Linguistics has not been my favorite thing this semester.  (Perhaps a bit unfortunate, since it's the ONLY class this semester.)  It doesn't come easy for me.  Frustrated and totally lost are two ways I frequently feel.  There are the days when I wonder, How in the world am I going to get through this homework problem?  Duh.  The same way I got through the last problem.  And the one before that.

God's grace.

I'm not just saying that, friends.  I really mean it.  Because on my own I have felt completely overwhelmed by the material we're (trying) to cover.  Yet somehow...somehow...here I am, at the end of another week.  The grades aren't worth bragging about, and many times I still don't "get" things.  But Week 5 now sits on the shelf, another trophy of God's grace, joining a long line of similar trophies.  He is the one who brought me to this point, and I'm thankful circumstances have been such that I can claim no glory for myself.

Esther said, "It's one thing to know we have grace.  I think it's another when we're able to experience it."  Amen, Sister!!  And the Lord in His love has been moving me past that "knowing" to the "experiencing".  Easy?  No.  Worth it?  Yes! a thousand times.

He is good.

---

Alrighty.  I think it's time to put the laundry in the dryer and clean up the kitchen from breakfast.  Thanks for stopping by.  I wish you a happy Saturday!

Where was Rachel...

...exactly two years ago?  I was here.  I came out for an interview (on September 14th!) with the Student Life team.  It's a long story with some crazy twists and turns.

Looking back over the past two years, I couldn't have forseen much of what would take place. When I think of all the cool ways I've seen the Lord provide...all the dear, dear friends He's given me here...all the challenges and discouragement...all the surprises ("good" and "bad") along the way...I'm really not sure what to say.

---

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength,
But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me
No great success to show, no glory on my own
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know

CHORUS
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He'll carry us when we can't carry on
Raised in His power, the weak become strong
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect

We can only know
The power that He holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes
His strength in us begins
Where ours comes to an end
He hears our humble cry and proves again

(Chorus)

I first heard that song two years ago, the day before my interview.  And as fitting as it was then...I never dreamed how perfect it would be right now.  We can only know His power when we see how deep our own weakness goes.  Yes.  Yes.  Yes!!!
---

God is faithful through it all.  I'm so very glad that I'm His child and that He'll never, ever, EVER let go of me.

Quotable

"God delights in using the unexpected to show Himself powerful and able.  No matter what, we have no reason to boast.  God will be glorified."

Coffee is a terrible thing...

...to have to ration.

Overheard

A little girl (about 3 years old), praying before dinner: And dear God, please help Joanne.  Amen.

Little girl's mommy: Who's Joanne, Honey?

Little girl: I don't know...um...um...Joanne is Joanne.

Little girl's mommy: How do you know her?

Little girl: I don't know.

Aren't kids too cute?!  :)

Just a thought...

Jars (or pots) of clay.  Fragile and easily broken.  Sometimes chipped or cracked.  Commonplace.  No inherent worth, except as a vessel to hold something.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpasing power is from God and not from us." - 2 Corinthians 4:7

I'm thankful God hasn't called me to be a fancy urn - just a simple clay pot that He can fill with something beautiful.

Virtual Tour

Howdy, friends!  The apartment is now fully furnished and decorated (more or less, anyway), and now there are pictures so I can give you a virtual tour.

But first, go make that cup of coffee.  You know you want to.  ;)

---



Up the stairs we go.  See my hanging ivy?  I like it.



The view from the landing...

Yes, the day was every bit as beautiful as it looks.  Sunny and breezy and simply marvelous!



And towards the left...



Hey!  You're not headed back down those stairs already, are you?  We've barely started!



Welcome to my home!  Won't you come in?



There's the kitchen.  I like how things are now neat and tidy for the most part, but have a comfortable, lived-in feel - as evidenced in this picture by the rack of dishes drying on the stove.



This is the kitchen table, which is more a workspace, in absence of "real" counters, than a place I sit down and eat.  The shelf is my happily well-stocked "pantry".  And of course, you see my faithful friend the coffee maker sitting on the table.



And here's the living room.  I wish the colors had showed up better, but the whole living room-kitchen-dining area has a sort of rustic feel.  Lots of brown and green.  I absolutely love it!



The little table was originally my bedside table, but I needed something to set my phone on, and this was it.



This shelf was here when I arrived - it's just right for a combination of storage and decor/display.

If you look closely at the bottom right corner of the picture, you'll see a yellow clipboard and black carrying pouch - my official work detail gear.



The brown checkered curtains add a touch of country charm, which goes really well with the rest of the main room.  At least I think so.



I think I'll be ready for classes tomorrow.  (And don't make fun of the Pooh backpack.  I needed one and the only other choice available at the time was Bob the Builder.  So there.)

---

For you curious souls...



I stood just outside the bathroom door to snap this one.  That should give you an idea of how small it is.



One of four frames my friend Lindsey gave me (knowing that tulips are my very favorite flower).  Unfortunately my camera hasn't done justice to anything in the apartment, it seems.

---

Now the bedroom.


Just inside my bedroom, two more of the tulip frames.



There's nothing like a closet without doors to inspire tidiness, baby.  (Not that I'm prone to sloppiness.)

Check out those cabinets above the closet, though.  The extra storage space is pretty nice.



More country-ness.  I know, I know.  That's not a word.



That's the bedside table before it was moved to the living room.  And the chair?  I know it looks sort of brownish-purple in the picture, but it's actually a wonderfully rich cranberry color.  I've had it since my first semester here.

And above the chair, note the last of the four tulip frames, which will probably end up getting moved somewhere else on the wall.  I still need to overcome the problem of too much white wall space in the bedroom.



Zoe!



My desk.  (What else would it be, right?)



The navy blue lace seemed like a fun, girlie touch...



Some more fun stuff I found.  (I should explain that this, as well as much of my decor, was found in the "Mission Barrel" - like an on-campus consignment store, only FREE!!!)



That's after the bedside table was gone.  Hey, look!  The colors on the comforter showed up much better here.  But sadly, the chair still looks brown...

What's cool is how God provided so many fun and useful things (that matched!) without me having to spend a lot of time or money.  It's wonderfully homey and I'm really thankful for the way He provided for the needs - and way beyond.

---

Let's revisit that picture on the desk.



Sisters - twelve years ago.



And now here we are...



Yup, we have fun.



Sometimes too much?!

(These were taken the night before I left for school.)

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Well, so long.  Thanks for stopping by!

Happy Monday!