Live in Today

Today got off to a rocky start.  Dear classmates Josh and Katie came to class at 8:00 to say good-bye.  After much thought and prayer, they've decided to step out from the training for the time, which means they won't be graduating with the rest of our class.  It's been a difficult process for them, but Josh said, "There's one thing that has kept us going through all this.  And He'll always be there."  Amen.

Then came the hugs.  The "We love you guys…we're praying for you."  The tears.  Saying good-bye never gets easier.

Classes were a blur.  I don't think I understood a bit of our semantics and translation class.  It seemed a headache was just waiting to happen.  By lunch time, I was sniffling over my bowl of beans and rice.  Even the half mug of cold, leftover coffee didn't make me feel any better.  I knelt by my bed and had a good cry.  Trying to pray, the only words that would come were, "Lord, right now I'm so…so…I need You!"  I thought of Caedmon's wordless appeal for me to hold him and realized I didn't need words.  God understands my heart.  And He's even more willing to hold me than I am to hold Caedmon.

My mind cleared as I focused on Him.  It's a beautiful day.  Don't waste it crying.  Live in today.

This is life.  It's what God has given me right now.  Seize the day.  Let's face it with a smile.

There was work detail to tackle, but nothing pressing to attend to for the rest of the afternoon.  So after cleaning, I took a walk.  I ran through a grassy field for the sheer fun of it.  I traipsed into the woods (sticking to the trail and praying the ticks would leave me alone).  And even though today's temperature wasn't nearly enough to justify it, I slipped off my sandals and dangled my feet in the creek.  I sang because there was no one around to hear, except for God.

And I found myself thinking back to how God has brought me here – and what He's done since then.  You know, He's pretty awesome.  He took an insignificant, terrified, stubborn girl and brought her halfway across the U.S.  He let her see His miracles – some big, some small – but each a sign of His faithfulness.  He's going to use her in His plan somehow, even though she doesn't deserve the privilege.  Even though she often messes up.  Even though she won't trust Him like she should.

Maybe that's the biggest miracle of all.  He really can use me.  He wants to.

"We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." - 2 Corinthians 4:7

It's been a glorious day.  I have a glorious God.