Celebration: Because Grace Isn't Just for October

Here's a story from my lovely friend Brittany.

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"His grace is enough."  So often I have heard and even sang these words unto my Savior in praise...and then literally five seconds later allow my enemy called anxiety to creep up in my heart and completely overwhelm me with fear and doubt.  I so often seek to live in my own strength, and therefore freak out about every small moment in life that I have absolutely no control over.  After all, I'm a teacher, I've learned to ALWAYS be in CONTROL.  I don't at all like the feeling of losing that.  Most recently I have realized how incredibly self-centered that is.

My grace story comes from a series of events.  Not earth shattering moments, but rather the simple day to day moments that I have learned to cherish - the moments where my eyes are opened to His grace.  This morning my sweet first grade souls walked into my classroom, filled with life and excitement for their day.  Unknown to them, Miss C isn't filled with joy for life, but rather filled with anxiety.  For no other reason than being afraid of failure.  Deathly afraid that somehow, someway, I'm not only going to fail at something that day, but somehow fail at life.  I am TERRIFIED that at the end of my life the Lord will be disappointed in me...wishing I would have taken "the left turn instead of the right."

It's in these moments that the Lord has surrounded me in a variety of ways to show me more and more of Himself.  More of who He TRULY is, not who the enemy is conjuring up in my mind that He is.  One of the ways He has shown me Himself is through my students.  These kids bring such beautiful, pure characteristics of who I am in Jesus' eyes.  They love life and live in the moment.  They bring their true emotions (no matter how stressful those emotions may be for the teacher sometimes!) and don't hold back.  When they are afraid, they tell me.  When they are stressed, they tell me.  When they just want a hug of comfort, they tell.  It's been so neat that through this position the Lord has shown me, "Britt, that is who I am for YOU.  In full perfection and unending love, you can come to Me at all times and with whatever is on your mind."

I have also learned the importance of Scripture memory.  My fiancé, a friend, and I have been memorizing the Word together, truly writing it on the tablet of our hearts.  It's amazing how when anxiety starts to creep into my heart, the Lord reminds me of one of those verses and gives me peace: "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand are treasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11)

I'm not called to know it all.  I'm not even called to try to know it all!!  I'm called to love the Lord my God with ALL my heart, with ALL my soul, with ALL my mind, and with ALL my strength.  It is there where He will lead me and show me the path of life, with HIM at the steering wheel and not me.  I am merely a passenger and need not fret for the pilot ALWAYS has FULL control.

So, my grace story?  My grace story is a day to day seeking, choosing to see, and falling into the arms of His unending grace.  I breathe a sigh of relief and the Lord reminds me yet again with a compassionate and tender whisper, "I've got this, My daughter, trust Me, I've got this..."

Brittany C.