Dear _____,

Mosquito that woke me up at 12:15...  Okay, I hate being woken up by your kind anytime, but that was an especially bad time.  You see, I was dreaming.  I was dreaming that I was home and Mom had made a delicious chocolate cake.  She'd handed me a slice on a napkin, I took one bite, and then you came whining in my ear, preventing me from finishing my piece of cake.  Diabolical insect, you.  But I had my revenge.  You are now dead.

Baby Theo...  You know what your mommy says?  She says you're so fair you could be my baby.  Not quite...

Mauritanian dish I can't remember the name of...  I never would have thought to combine little round pasta "thingies" with sweetened milk.  Here's to new food combinations...

Sports commentator...  I was wondering why your French sounded different, weird, not quite right.  When I asked, Julien was like, "Oh, yeah, he's speaking with an American accent.  He lived in the US for a while."  That's what I was afraid he'd say.

Basketball, hockey, or football (American football!)...  I never thought I'd be happy to see you, but there's something oddly comforting about your relative familiarity.  You see, normally if I'm with friends here (for instance, if I'm over Julien and Angèle's) and they turn on the sports channel, it's soccer.  And of all sports, that's the one I'm least familiar with.  (Not I really know what's going on with any of them, they just feel somewhat more familiar, by virtue of the fact that my dad watched them a lot when I was younger.)

Julien and Germain...  You guys crack me up with your commentary during aforementioned soccer matches.  "Come on, come on!  Get the ball!  Get it!  What are you doing?  Seriously?!  Come on!  Yeah, that's better!  Nice play, nice play!"  All I can think of is what it would sound like if Angèle and I did the same thing as we were watching TV.

Guy who sat down next to me at the bus stop...  Yes, I'm waiting for the bus.  (What else would I be doing sitting at a bus stop?)  No, I'm not French.  No, not German either.  Take a hint, pal.  I'm not going to be chatty.

Plastic chairs that were hot to the touch...  I went to move you to another spot in the living room, and you were hot.  Like, not just warm, but hot.  Why?  Because you were sitting next to the wall, which is an outside wall, which is painted black, which gets direct afternoon sun. 

Hot water from the tap...  Ow!  I wasn't expecting that.  Must be the black plastic reservoir on the roof got a lot of sun during the day.

Guy pushing a lawn mower down the street...  What are you going to mow?  I mean, it's not like we have lawns here!  Or much grass at all.

Lake Tahoe bumper sticker...  What?  How'd you get on the back of that car?!  TakemebacktoCalifornia!!!!!

Petit Nicolas [audio books I'm using in session]...  Your adventures make me laugh.  But ever am I glad I'm not your mother!  You're a piece of work.