On Writing

I've been enamored with words since I began talking.  I've loved writing for as long as I've been able to put a pen to paper.

And I used to have such grand dreams.  Like writing a book, or perhaps a few.

When I came back from West Africa, I even considered taking a writing job at HQ.  Praying through that decision - and eventually sensing God leading me towards the Bible Institutes - caused me to really stop and evaluate my ideas on the subject, on what part writing played in my life.  How God wants to see it playing out in my life.

And I realized that while God may have wired me with a desire to write, it's not ultimately my identity and He never intends it to be the all-consuming passion I live for.  It shouldn't be something I'm forever trying to push to the forefront.

I can simply...write.

Here.  I may never write a book.  Or articles for some Missions magazine.  This blog may never have a crazy-big following.  And that's okay.  God has been teaching me - in so many areas of life - that small and unimpressive is actually a good place to be.

It's freeing.

There's less pressure to "get it right".  (Although I freely admit that typos remain the bane of my existence.  Case in point: I sent out an email earlier this afternoon with "a" instead of "an", and the horror is still looming large in my head.)  Perfection is an elusive dream and chasing it is horribly unsatisfying.

God can take simple reflections, a story from the heart, an honest admission of failure, and use them somehow.  He doesn't promise He'll use the small offerings we give Him for great and big things. They might just be for other small things.  For quiet, inner work.  Maybe to encourage just one other person in an ordinary Monday kind of struggle.

You know the funny thing about it all?  It feels so much more enjoyable to write from this place.  All the lessons that God has been teaching my heart in the last year seem to be coming to the surface now and spilling out into lots of blog posts.  Not effortlessly, but much more...organically.  Which, I suppose, is how it ought to be anyway.