Two weeks ago I had a funky Monday, which turned out to be the beginning of a funky week. Not bad per se, just weird. I felt pulled in several different directions, was fumbling over some tasks, and was functioning on far less sleep than advisable.
By Friday, this realization had surfaced: I think I'm past the honeymoon phase now.
I can't say I ever had a honeymoon phase in Senegal, where everything seemed rosy and I was walking around with my head in the clouds, just thrilled to be there. But my first two months here definitely felt that way. That week I noticed a definite shift.
Not a bad one. An inevitable - and, dare I say necessary - one. I don't expect to live my whole life and ministry up in the clouds, feeling overwhelmingly enthusiastic about it every moment. Real life is raw and rough and messy at times; and that's okay. The honeymoon may be over, but that doesn't mean I dislike things or that I wish myself elsewhere. I'm still deeply grateful to be here - even grateful, however odd it may sound, to live with the reality of ministry and all its tensions, challenges, and ordinary-ness.
However, I knew that coming off such a "high" might leave me with a temptation to be discouraged or to complain, so I had to very intentionally note blessings that God was giving me. Little gifts. Big gifts.
Here are some from the last two weeks:
- My car is (finally) insured and officially registered here. The process took nearly two months, so I was very thankful to have that taken care of at last.
- My new driver's license came in the mail - hurray! And, bonus! The picture actually looks like me, instead of that dreadful one from seven years ago.
- Avocados for less than $1 at the store
- Tickets for a visit to Senegal this summer. So. excited.
- A free evening to build a puzzle
- Late-night conversations with friends
- Birds singing in the morning - such a happy sound to wake up to!
- Skyping with Sarah and Malachi
- An evening of Cranford with two of my favorite people
- Praying together with different student girls
- African Autumn lattes with a friend
- Rainy days
- Chats with friends from Senegal- No-bakes and company for working on projects
- Completed taxes (oh blessed relief!)
- Warmer temperatures that are perfect for walks after work
- Free bacon! What a treat. (Thank you, Martha!)
- A deeply challenging and convicting message this morning at church
- Two little bookshelves. They're the first pieces of furniture I've ever bought! Every place I've lived as an adult has been a temporary (two years or less) arrangement, so I've always just basically rented furniture or used furniture provided for me. Yesterday was rather a milestone in that regard.
- New houseplants, a birthday gift from Michelle. Thank you, friend! You know me well enough to know how happy they make me.
- Baskets half-off at Michael's (see them lined up on the shelves?)
- New books to read. I've only gotten a few chapters into each, and they're already wonderful. They are cutting very deeply into layers of thinking that need to be changed. I feel so raw and undone reading them, knowing that God is speaking to me, wanting to stretch and grow me. So painful. But so, so good.
...And I'm sure that list could be twice as long. God has been so good to me. In everything.
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