Singleness: A Choice or A Gift?

It all seemed so straightforward.  I was used to making decisions based on logic and not emotion, on a strong sense of duty and responsibility.

I believed God had called me to be a missionary.  I wanted to serve Him in a remote location and be a part of translating His Word.  This would be a big responsibility - one that would take much time over many years.  Being single would mean fewer demands on my time.  More freedom to devote to the task.  I would be able to throw myself into it in a way that a married person could not.

It didn't even seem like a sacrifice.  Just an undeniably logical choice.

So I made it and moved through my teen years and into my twenties with barely a second thought on the subject.

But then grace came on the scene, and it was bound to affect every area of my thinking sooner or later.

Grace said nothing I did or didn't do would earn me favor with God - that His favor was mine because of Christ alone.  Being single secured me no special-something-extra over my married counterparts.

But I still saw singleness as my choice, if not for favor, then for expediency's sake.

It was like I was telling God that I had it all figured out and that I'd be able to do more for Him this way.

He had a most disconcerting way of showing me that my human logic was both flawed and unreliable.  Who was I to tell God what was the best or most efficient way His work could be accomplished?

Thus began the re-framing of my perspective.  I went to Scripture - not just 1 Corinthians 7, but all of it - for help.  It started to dawn on me: both singleness and marriage were good.  Both could bring Him glory.  Both provided opportunities and challenges.  I'd been wrong all this time to think a comparison ("good" and "better") was necessary.

Suppose I saw this less as a choice I was making for God and more His gift to me?  I am single, not because I made some noble decision about the direction of my life, but because He loves me and chose to give me this gift.

How that changes the conversation!

If singleness is the good gift my Heavenly Father has, in His love, chosen to give me today, then I am free.  Free to rejoice in it and to rejoice with others in their own differing gifts, to trust that no matter what gift He gives me in two years, five years, or ten years, it will be abundantly good.

This is grace.  All I have is given to me.  There's no room for smug self-satisfaction; no room for comparison; no room for fear over the future.  Grace says, Take the gifts, all these beautiful gifts He's given, and let them spill over in joy and thankfulness.  Receive the gifts of today and trust Him with tomorrow.

It's so much simpler and sweeter this way, to just let Him be God.