West Africa: Q & A

FAQ (and some questions you want to ask, but are afraid to):

Where are you going?  I'll be in Senegal at first.  Long-term, there are several countries I could potentially be working in, but I'm not planning to make that decision just now.

What will you be doing?  For the first 1 1/2 - 2 years, I'll be studying French and West African culture, getting involved in a local church, and generally learning how to function in society.  Again, long-term, I'm not sure what the Lord has for me (ministry-wise), but there will be plenty of opportunities to consider.

Why do you have to go so far?  Aren't there lots of people who need help here in the US, too?  I grew up devouring missionary stories, reading world statistics, and praying for people groups I couldn't pronounce.  I'm aware there are staggering needs everywhere.  I also firmly believe there is much valuable work to be done here in our own backyard.  However, most of the world enjoys far fewer opportunities then we do here.  There are many groups in other countries who have no Bible in their own language, no church, no believers living among them, and no means of hearing the Gospel...unless someone is willing to go and live among them.   Basically what it boils down to is this: God has a place for each and every one of His children.  There are needs everywhere.  He chose to put me in West Africa, so that's where I'm headed!

How did you pick West Africa?  This question makes me laugh, mostly because I can't really claim that I picked West Africa.  It's more like God just plopped it down in front of me and wouldn't let me ignore it.  You read more about that story here.

What are your biggest fears?  Hmm... Well, I'm really not crazy about snakes (poisonous or otherwise).  I'm also squeamish and tropical diseases definitely strike a measure of fear in my heart.  But to be really, really honest, my biggest fear is probably failure.  "What if I can't learn the language?  What if I just can't make it?  Missionaries come home for all kinds of reasons; what if I'm one of them?"

How do you feel about going single?  Are you scared?  There are definitely times when I think, "Man, it sure would be nice to not have take care of all this stuff myself."  Or, "It would be nice to have a built-in best friend and teammate!"  On the other hand, no, going as a single isn't necessarily an aspect of fear for me.  Yes, I realize there are dangers, but I also know danger isn't limited by marital status or geography or...you get the point.

How long will you be there before coming home to visit?  Most likely 3-4 years.

So they speak French - have you taken any French classes here?  Did you study French in school?  Nope.  I took Spanish.  I'll be starting from scratch in Senegal.  More or less, anyway.

Do you know people there? Will you be working on a team?  Yes to both!

Do they have coffee?  Do you think I'd be going if they didn't? (Just kidding.)

What I want you to know:

People sometimes make comments or assumptions that I'd like to answer, not to set the records straight, just to share my heart.

It's not a trip.  I'm moving there!  :)

It's not a great big adventure.  Yes, it will be a unique and very valuable experience.  But it will not always be fun or enjoyable or exciting.  It'll be real life, just in another country.

I'm not "following my dreams".  I really want to follow the Lord, and this is where I believe He is leading me.  It's not about looking for fulfillment or "doing what I want to do".

I'm not really brave or really spiritual.  I'm not a hero.  I'm just a normal girl.  I have fears and failures and sin just like the next person.  Going overseas or being in full-time ministry anywhere does not make a person more spiritual.  In fact, it doesn't automatically mean they're following the Lord.  Please, please, please don't put me up on a pedestal!!  It's dangerous up there! 

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More questions?  Feel free to ask!

By Faith, Not Sight...Or Feelings

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

For we walk by faith, not by sight. – 2 Corinthians 5:7
We know following the Lord involves faith.  And faith, by definition, cannot be based on what we see or feel.  It’s based on what we know.

So how do we walk by faith?  How do I walk by faith?

There are times His leading doesn’t make sense to me; I don’t “see” why.  Sometimes I see my circumstances, and I would choose to handle them differently.  You know what I mean?

There are also times when my feelings don’t line up nicely with what He’s leading me to do.  At the risk of sounding like a bad missionary, I confess: There was a time (not so long ago) when I quite honestly just didn’t feel like going to West Africa.

I don’t always feel excited and totally passionate or even ready for this next step.  (Wait, aren’t missionaries supposed to be that way?  Excited to follow God to the ends of the earth and totally passionate about what He is doing?)  I don’t feel like leaving my home, my family, my friends, my church. I don’t feel like learning another language, living in a hot, humid climate, or being surrounded by poverty and dirt and bugs.

No, I don’t always feel excited about leaving and all that it entails.  God doesn’t necessarily command me not to feel those things, but He calls me to walk by faith and not by my feelings.  At some point I must choose to trust Him and obey.

You see, walking by faith isn’t the absence of human emotion or reason; it is obeying God even when what He asks us to do goes contrary to those things.  Faith is in what we know, not in what we see or feel.
So if you ask me if I’m excited to leave in less than two months?  I may or may not be, depending on the day.  But I’m going.  As God continues to lead, I’m going.  And He’ll be with me.

Faith is in what we know – God’s character.

The Preparation Checklist, Installment 2

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

This past week I went to the travel clinic.  Four shots down and two more to go!

I found out I will need to apply for a visa.  That process is now in motion.

I’ve been brainstorming a “things to bring” list and emailing various people on the field for their advice.

Thankfully, I’ve also had some welcome breaks…

 

Well, that’s all for now.  Much more in the weeks to come!

The Comparison Game, Missionary Edition

"They've got it so great.  They got to pick their coworkers!"

"She has a husband to help her.  I have to do everything myself."

"They don't have to learn a new language."

"She's in an air-conditioned office while I'm sweltering in this tropical heat!"

Most of us fall prey to the Comparison Game at some point or another.  You can slap the label missionary on a person but that doesn't make them any less prone to this very human tendency.  It may stem from discontentment or insecurity or unthankfulness or self-focus.  But at the very heart each of those things is pride, ugly pride.

Can you hear it here?

"I learned the language faster than he did."

"I've sacrificed more than they did."

"My ministry is more important than ___."

"I can't believe she doesn't have time for ___.  I guess I must manage my time better than she does."

Whether we puff ourselves up or wallow in self-pity, we are acting in pride against God.

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 10:12, "When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding."  What is it that we don't understand when we start playing the Comparison Game?  That God doesn't use another person as the standard to measure our performance or character by; He is the standard.

When we look around and compare ourselves to others, it's like trying to measure a yard of fabric based on random scraps you have lying around.  It's silly and it doesn't work.  That's what a yardstick is for!

"...it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends." (2 Corinthians 10:18)

I say this to myself first of all: Let's stop seeking to gain approval by standing next to someone else.  Let's seek the Lord's approval and focus on His perfect standard: grace and truth.

When a Missing "-ing" Shows You Your Heart

It was one of those days where my brain was overflowing.

"Consider doing this," she wrote.

I opened the link and thought, "What?!  Maybe she's just trying to be helpful, but how can she possibly think I have enough time for this?"  For a moment, I stopped to think through some of the ramifications and felt a twinge of panic.  In that flustered spirit, I clicked out a response to the effect that it was ridiculous, impractical, I didn't have time, and why would I try it anyway?

"I didn't say you should consider it."  Yes, you did!!!

I scrolled down to re-read the exchange.

"Considering doing this."  THAT's what she had said.  Changes everything, doesn't it?  I felt both foolish and - dare I admit? - relieved.

I've learned that when I'm feeling stressed, my reactions tend to show me what my heart is really like.  Impatient.  Worried.  Overwhelmed.  Caught up in my own little world of busy. ...Or whatever else it may be.

The way I responded to a simple email (panic and frustration) showed me that I wasn't trusting the Lord and, consequently, was feeling overwhelmed.

Stress can (and usually does!) lower our self-control.  Is it an excuse for sin?  No.  But those less-self-controlled reactions can serve as a reminder to slow down, take a deep breath, say a prayer.  To take a peek inside our hearts and to ask Jesus to shine His light in there.  When we recognize the sin (or non-sinful "weights" - Hebrews 12:1), then we can give it Him and keep growing.

He wants to show us our hearts...and sometimes He might even use a misread email to do so!

When I was younger, I wanted to...

True story.  :)

Step by step

[This post originally appeared on my NTM blog.]

 

I’m rapidly approaching the two-month countdown.  It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that, in just a little over two months, I will be living an ocean away.  Such a big change obviously creates a lot of work and busyness…

 

This past week, I got back from a visit to the Missionary Training Center.  That was a really special time.  Each friend I was able to see was an encouragement.  Yes, it was hard to say goodbye when I know I won’t see most of these people for another four years (at least), but I’m thankful for the time I did have there.

 

Since getting back, I’ve played a little bit of catch-up: correspondence, papers to sort and file, laundry, etc.  You know the drill.

 

Now that I’m not working, my main focus will be on preparing to leave (to move!).  What does that look like?  Well, here’s a sample of next week’s goals:

• go to travel clinic for more shots
• get together with a couple friends
• research things to bring (clothing, household items, tech stuff, etc.)
• buy plane ticket (hopefully!)

Each little step brings me closer to West Africa!

On Air Travel

Nothing deep this time, just my feelings on air travel.

Some things I like:

Take-off.  Hands-down my favorite part of any trip by air.  I love taxing down the run-way, the feeling of being airborne, and the view you get as you're ascending...

Landing.

Not having to check any luggage (obviously this doesn't happen every time, but when it does, I'm happy).

Southwest Airlines.

When I manage to get an A-group boarding pass.  (See above.)

Watching people in the airport.  Not in a creeper-ish sort of way, just observing life going on around me.

Seeing snow from the air.

Clouds!  So many different kinds.  From a completely new perspective (including flying through them).

When we're close enough to landing that the cars are more than tiny dots.

Watching (from the airport windows) planes getting ready to take off/pull back from the gate.  I didn't realize this until recently, but there's actually a vehicle that steers the plane backwards until it's far enough away from the gate to turn.  I don't know how a fully-loaded jet gets pushed backwards by some comparatively puny vehicle.  But then, a fully-loaded jet is also capable of remaining airborne...

Some things I dislike:

Planning trips and booking the tickets.  I used to think I really liked it, but I don't anymore.

Packing.

Aisle seats.  Especially towards the back of the plane.

Flights with screaming children or super-chatty adults (who does, really?).

Really full flights.

Airport food prices. Ick.

Stale peanuts.  I'd rather go hungry.

My usual post-travel headache.

When my ears won't pop.  Ouch, ouch.

Searching the terminal for an outlet to plug my computer charger into (harder to find than one might think!).

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There you have it.

One last stroll down Memory Lane

On Saturday I decided to revisit The Tree one last time.  You can read about my first encounter with The Tree here.

I had to pick my way through a now-overgrown field (thinking of snakes and ticks all the while), and by the time I got there, the whole idea was getting less and less appealing.

But I didn't come that far only to turn back, so...





It's soo far down...



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This is the trail heading back to the house.  It's unexpectedly sandy, almost like a trail along the beach.  My friend and I once found half of a jawbone here.  I had no idea what kind of animal it belonged to, but it was pretty cool.

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I'm so, so glad I got to visit.  It was special to see friends there one last time before I leave for West Africa.

Last night I got to visit two of the three couples who led my small discipleship group.  (They are all amazing!)  I found myself getting a little teary-eyed as I said my last good-byes.  Who knows how long it'll be until I see them again?

But I'm thankful for friendships close enough that make good-byes hard, and definitely thankful that friendships in the Lord will continue through eternity.

More of Memory Lane

Green and gravel...



Fields and sky...



Grass and toes...



Looking out over the lake and watching the water gently lapping against the rocks is quite relaxing.



Isn't it beautiful?  This picture doesn't even begin to capture how many shades of green there are!!!  (Partially because it was overcast when I took these pictures.)



The swinging bench where I spent many hours talking with friends or with God, writing notes, or doing homework.

This is also the bench where my infamous Possum Story (which some of you have heard) took place.  Scarred for life.



Evening in the field



Down by the creek - without a doubt one of my most favorite spots on campus.  It's quiet and peaceful and breath-takingly beautiful.  It's the place I went when I needed to think or pray or just "get away" from everything.  It's also where my friend Melissa took pictures for my first prayer card.  We had fun traipsing around down there.



The spring house that feeds the creek

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I'm thankful for the memories and the lessons learned during my time in the training.  I would not trade those two years for anything.

I'm thankful for the chance to come back and be reminded of those things again, and to visit dear friends that God has given me.

And I'm thankful that God is not done with me yet.

Summary of the day

Soaking in the green.  Enjoying a leisurely stroll down memory lane.  Catching up with friends.

It's been a good day.  Time for bed now!