When There's a Judas at Your Table

Judas.

He followed Jesus, walking with the eleven for three years.  He sat at the table and shared the last hours of Jesus' life.

Jesus' words rose above the dinner conversation:  One of you will betray Me.  One sitting in this close circle, dipping his bread in the dish with Me.

The disciples began to look around the room and question, "It is me?  Is it me?"

When Judas asked, Jesus said point-blank, "Yes, you're the one."  Whether the eleven didn't hear or just didn't process that information, I don't know.  Jesus adds, "What you're going to do, do quickly," and the rest thought He was talking about the group's treasury.  They just didn't seem able to believe that one of them could really betray Jesus.

Imagine the shock and confusion they must have felt, when hours later, Judas appeared in the garden - on the side of the priests and the Roman army.

They thought they knew Judas.  They thought he was one of them.

And yet...he wasn't.

How crushing.

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When there's a Judas at your table, you don't always see it until it's too late, until you're standing face-to-face instead of side-by-side.

What do you do with the shock and the heartbreak?

You could, perhaps, look at Jesus...

Jesus knew all along that Judas would betray Him.  He wasn't surprised or taken back.  Yet He still gave Judas the opportunity of being in His inner circle for three years - for seeing the miracles, hearing the teaching, and participating in the ministry.  Even at the Last Supper, hours before Judas' appalling betrayal, Jesus bent down in front of him and washed his feet, just like He washed the others'.  In the garden, Jesus saw Judas approaching and gave him the chance to realize the import of what he was doing.  It was a chance to repent, if Judas had wanted to take it.  He didn't, and Jesus knew He wouldn't, but He still reached out to Judas.

Such grace.  Such unbelievable, unflinching, scandalous grace.

- - -

I don't have a neat three-step formula for handling Judases.  I don't have all the answers.  But I can find comfort in the fact that God knows it all and still loves, that His heart breaks over the Judases of time far more than mine could.  I can hide in Jesus' grace and trust Him to be grace for me and through me when I can't be.