Martha, Martha

Today started out an overcast Wednesday morning.

I stared at the clock, then at my to-do list, then back at the clock.  The minutes were ticking, I was accomplishing nothing, and my mind keeping running through everything I had to do this morning, the next week, and two months down the road.

I could feel the anxiety creeping up.  There's just. so. much. to think about right now.

Worried and troubled about many things.

I've found myself in that same place over and over again recently.  I know it's foolish, I know I need to trust the Lord instead of fretting, but...I'll admit, it's too often my default.  Then I started fretting over the fact that I was fretting, and thinking about how I do too much thinking.

A few minutes later, an email showed up in my inbox with a short video by one of my favorite authors.  She said that our souls need to be still, that sometimes we need to just sit and remember that we are in the presence of a God who loves us immensely.

So I thought.

I tuned out the to-do list, if only for a few minutes, and remembered.

I remembered how He's been good and faithful and caring, how He's showered me with love and grace.

Like how not one of my suitcases was overweight on the flight back from West Africa (although they were all perilously close!), and how I made my connecting flight in New York just in time (although the gate area was entirely empty by the time I made it through customs).

Like the rare but delightful thunderstorm when I arrived in California, a welcome present with God's bold signature across it.

Like the emails from NTMers I don't even know personally, saying they're praying for me right now, that they've been through similar transitions and unknowns, and that God has a plan in all this.

...And so many other things, big and small.