Of Boxes and Other Stuff

Okay, okay, the ones in my room right now aren't boxes.  They're those ActionPackers and suitcases I lugged to Africa and back.  They're sitting at the foot of my bed 'cause there's no place for them anywhere else in the house.  Or the garage.  Or the shed.

It would have driven me crazy a couple years ago, anything that wasn't just so.  But I'm learning...slowly...to be okay with less than perfect.

I guess, too, since it looks like I'll be moving out of state around the end of the year, I'm not particularly motivated to settle here completely.  Don't get me wrong.  I intend to fully enjoy my time with family and friends here, and I certainly want to get into good, healthy routines while I'm here in California.  But as far as it looks, God isn't going to have me here forever.

I'll admit, too, that while Africa isn't going to be erased from my heart so easily, the rawness of the goodbyes has started to mellow at least a little, and I'm more at peace with God wanting me in the States for the foreseeable future.

However, what exactly that "foreseeable future" will entail is still somewhat up in the air.  Pretty much any ministry with NTM in the US would involve moving out of state.

It's something on my mind about every day, so that's what I'm going to write about now. :)

When the possibility of moving to Florida (where our Home Office is) first came up, I was like...

Florida?  No thanks.  Not at all my cup of tea.  It's hot, it's humid, there are wayyyy too many bugs, and it's on the other side of the US.  And I so do not want to start all over again in some new place where I don't know anyone.

I kind of realized how silly that sounded when I stopped to think about it.  I mean, goodness, I moved to Africa.  Hot, humid, lots-of-bugs, halfway-around-the-world, never-been-there-before, Africa.  And I survived.  Because God was utterly, amazingly, beautifully faithful.  For all of it.

I know that.

I believe it, I really do.

But I forget so often.  Every day I have to remind myself that I don't need to freak out; God really does have this all under control.  The other day I had a mental conversation about support and percentages and contacts and stateside vs. overseas...which may have resulted in some tears and a bit of panic.

And it hit me: I was totally putting God in a little box the size of my imagination!  But He's able to do so far beyond what I could ask or even imagine.  Labels and geography and dollar amounts are no obstacles to Him.  Who am I kidding?  This is the God who made the universe.  He's way bigger than all that.

Bigger than the new, the scary, the unknown.

Big enough to lead the way, hold my hand, and bring up the rear.  (As one of my favorite authors said.)

Anyway, I still don't know if I'll be moving to Florida or not.  I've also been in touch with our Bible Institutes and Training Center about ministry opportunities there.  For now, I suppose, there will be a lot of waiting and thinking and praying.

I'll get excited sometimes.  I'll have freak-out moments too.

But in spite of the change - around and within me - He doesn't change.  I can stake my life on it.