Grace for ministering to others. What does that mean? Rather than giving you some long-winded philosophical speech on the subject, I'd like to talk about what it may look like, from my own experience.
When I was 19, I moved to Missouri for training with NTM. I was there for two years, and I think it's pretty safe to say that I grew more during those two years than I had in the rest of my life up until that point. Circumstances spurred that growth in part, but it was mostly thanks to the people God brought into my life during that time.
There were my small group leaders. I think back to where I was in my walk and my understanding at that point, and you know what's so striking to me? How they dealt with my "issues". I mean, if I had been them, and I was supposed to be discipling the old me, I would have charged in with a list the length of the Golden Gate Bridge and tried to tackle every last issue.
"Hey, you think you have to dress that certain way? Actually that's not true. After all, God is way more concerned with the heart than with the outward appearance."
"So you think percussion is un-worshipful? Go read Psalm 150:5 for starters." (Cringe! It even uses the word "loud"!)
"You think God is limited to the KJV? Bummer. I guess that means He can't speak through any other version, in any other language."
Etc., etc.
But they didn't. They just modeled grace. Lived it. Shared what God was doing in their lives. Gave me the freedom of an environment where I could be open about my struggles. Nudged me closer to Jesus. They never tried to "fix" me.
Now, I'm not saying they were confrontation-phobes or that they'd never point out sin. I'm saying that their attitude was not one of taking the responsibility to change me. They left that to the Holy Spirit, knowing He is always, always the most effective teacher. Instead of spending all their energy chipping away at specific issues, they focused on encouraging my overall walk with the Lord. They knew that as I grew closer to the Lord, those issues would be handled.
(Side note: There is an element of trust here. Suppose I "didn't turn out"? Suppose none of those issues went away? Rather than worrying about their own reputations as mentors/disciplers - which could have led to the charge-in-with-a-list approach - they left the outcome entirely in God's hands. Knowing how difficult that kind of trust can be, I now have even more respect for them.)
Then there was a godly friend I'd often go to for advice. She had the irritating habit of not really giving me an answer. She'd more likely ask, "Well, what do you think you should do?" It frustrated me at first, because hey, I was seeking advice and was truly willing to take it. I wanted to grow. But she wasn't being hands-off or refusing to give me any input whatsoever. In essence, rather than handing me a neat little package labeled "The Solution to Situation X", she was taking my hand and walking me back to Jesus, knowing it was a Person I needed, not just an answer. And it was beautiful.
I could give you other examples, but you get my drift.
In the same way that grace makes our relationship with God a warm, living, breathing one, so grace makes our ministering to others warm and living and breathing. I believe true ministering isn't about programs or formulas or pat answers. It isn't about my responsibility as mentor, her role as disciple, their endless wisdom that just must be shared. It isn't about issues being moved one by one to some tidy "dealt with" stack on top of our desks.
It's simply doing life together. Sharing this grace-journey together. Freely. Authentically. Humbly.
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