Dear _____,

Lizard scurrying towards the wall to get away from me…  You jumped.  You missed.  I laughed.

Rue…  Please, oh, please stay your itsy-bitsy size forever!  I don’t want you to get any bigger.  Eat as many cockroaches as you like, just…don’t grow, okay?

Mac users…  Look, I’m not anti-Mac.  Just please don’t act like all PCs are junk or that those of us who use them are backwards savages.  My personal philosophy is simply, “Better to go with the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”  I know PCs.  (At least mine, at least sometimes.)  I don’t know Macs.  So…you can save your campaigning for someone else.  No hard feelings, right?

Litter of puppies…  If I was your mother, I’m not sure I would have chosen the side of the freeway to park my little family.  But then, if you were off in some secluded place, I wouldn’t have seen you.  And that was a nice little treat.

Brain…  Okay, 10:35pm is not the best time to suddenly come alive with various and sundry creative ideas.  It’s past your bedtime, you know.  You’re supposed to be easing into Sweet Dreams mode.  Got that?

Cockroach sitting (just sitting!) by my shoe…  What’s the matter with you, do you have a death wish?!  Happy to oblige.

Taxi driver…  No, I’m not married.  No, I will not marry you.  No, you do not need to know my name.  Just drive me to the store!  That’s what I’m paying you for, remember?

Sticky notes…  You are my sanity.  I’d be lost without you.

Two little girls who pass me every day while I wait on the stairs before class…  I look forward to your sweet Bon jour’s and cute smiles.  You brighten my morning.

Britter-fritter (does anyone still call you that?)…  You probably never thought that little plaque you bought me in Peru would make it all the way to Africa, did you?  Well, it did.  And it’s now hanging up on my wall.

Long-empty picture frame…  You sat there on my dresser for weeks, waiting for me to pick a picture that would actually fit.  In the end, I decided to use a copy of one of my favorite hymns (Come Thou Fount), and I’m quite pleased with the result.  I have a feeling you’ll make me want to start singing each time I see you.

Fellow pedestrians…  Y’all walk so. slow.  Or maybe I just walk exceptionally fast.

Non-stick skillet in lime green…  You make me happy every time I use you.  It’s the little things in life sometimes.  (Green is my favorite color, for those of you who don’t know.)

Mom and Dad…  I want to congratulate you.  You have now survived all three of your children’s teenage years.  How does it feel?  Do you need therapy?

Tootsie-girl…  One of these days I’m going to sneak you into my tote and take you home with me.  I miss having a dog.  (Tootsie belongs to one of the missionary families here.)

Lady at church…  You asked my name three different ways – except the way I knew.  Then you tried English, and I felt really stupid…  Thanks for being so gracious about it.