There are days when I feel I don't know a thing. I can't talk properly (sometimes not even in English!). I don't know how to act. I can't see the future very clearly. I ask myself why I'm even here. But in those times, however foggy or unsettling they may be, there are truths that I can cling to. Even if I have nothing else to hold on to, I know...
The Truths
- "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:39) Nothing can separate me from the love of God, my Heavenly Father. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I love this. It overwhelms me.
- He doesn't change. This was my journal entry for August 25th, 2013: "My goal isn't to be a glowing missionary success story, just to stay close to Him." I can't say that I've accomplished that goal, at least not consistently. But I am so very thankful that He remains constant and unchanging regardless of anything I do or don't do.
- I'm here so that I can know Him better. At the end of a really tough week not too long after I got here, I remember crying and asking God why in the world He had brought me here. The answer I sensed He was responding with was so that I would know who He is. So that I would know Him better. And that is ultimately our highest purpose in life, isn't it?
- He is sovereign. I know sovereignty gets a bad rap in some circles, but God's sovereignty is a biblical concept. As I understand the concept from the Scriptures, it doesn't mean God causes everything (including evil or sin), or that He's some kind of cosmic computer programmer that locks us into a certain pattern of behavior. I believe it means that He's over everything. Bigger than everything. That's a tremendous comfort to me. Sometimes, "It's all going to be okay," just doesn't cut it. But the truth is God is bigger - bigger than storms and disease and loss. Bigger than doubts and whys that don't get answered. Bigger than my own poor choices or failings. He doesn't expect me to will away the difficulties or to plaster on a fake fine. In His sovereignty, He is perfectly capable of handling the whole spectrum of human emotion and experience. So I am free to grieve and hope and laugh and cry, because my God? He's got this.
- "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid...for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you." "And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8) I am never alone. He is with me and He will never leave me.
- He can be trusted. He has never failed before. EVER. All you have to do is read through some of those Old Testament books (Exodus comes to mind) to find promise after promise after promise that He kept. He is faithful.
- "For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations." (Psalm 100:5) He is always good. Everything He does is good. Even if circumstances don't feel good.
- He is my safe place, my refuge. It's impossible for me to choose a reference (or even several) for this one; I've underlined dozens in the Psalms alone.
- His grace is enough. He is enough. Always. "My grace is sufficient for you...My strength is made perfect in weakness..." (2 Corinthians 12:9) Beautiful how He ties His sufficient grace directly to our weakness, isn't it? I don't have to hide from weakness. I can look at His grace instead.
I'm also thankful for the gift of truth set to music. This is a played-endlessly-on-repeat playlist of the past year. :)
Be Still My Soul
Your Love Never Fails
Whom Shall I Fear
All is Well
We Won't Be Shaken
Desert Song
I Belong
Year of Grace
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