For kicks and giggles

'Twas The Month After Christmas
'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The cider and pies, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot--
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

- Author unknown (slightly adapted by yours truly)

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I guess it's probably time to retire the Christmas music stations on Pandora, too.  But I LIKE Christmas music!  Then again, it is January.  Christmas music is so last month.  You're right, I should get rid of those stations.

Happy Tuesday!