No-sugar added orange juice… You taste suspiciously like grapefruit juice. What’s up with that? An identity crisis?
Motorcycles… I’ve learned to be okay with walking inches away from moving traffic, but you still scare me. You come out of nowhere and you think the sidewalks are a passing lane. Not cool.
Fresh baguettes… You make me feel rather cosmopolitan as I walk away from the bakery with you sticking out from my bag. I don’t know that everyone else necessarily shares that sentiment, but oh well. Hee hee!
Big muddy puddles… If I were a little boy, I might think you’re fun. But I’m not. And I don’t. Especially when cars are passing…
Coconut milk… You make a pretty decent substitute for milk in hot drinks (coffee, Ovaltine). Better than soy milk at any rate. So we won’t mention calories, will we?
Picture frames… You are my one weakness. I’m excited to get you hung up on my walls.
Niece and nephews in one of the above-mentioned frames… I miss you somethin’ fierce. I hate thinking about how you older two are going to be taller than me when I come back. Promise you won’t get too big for hugs from Auntie Rachel?
Noisy neighbors… Parties at 10:00 on the weekend? Understandable. Parties that go past 1:00 or 2:00? Um…can you keep it down a bit? Please?
Non-English speakers (which would be the majority of the population) wearing t-shirts in English (the majority of the t-shirts worn)… I’ve seen everything from Cal Poly to autism awareness to “Awesome ends with me”. I just laugh inwardly and think, “You have no idea…”
Sink that got plugged up… Yes, that was kind of annoying, but as a result, I discovered that I missed my calling. I should have been a plumber. (Totally kidding!!)
Patio doors… The view is decidedly drab, but the breeze you allow in is wonderful!
Moisturizing hand lotion… With this humidity, I doubt I’ll be needing you anytime soon. Consider yourself dismissed (at least temporarily).
Friend who is always forgetting to use hand lotion… Are you sure you don’t want to come to West Africa? Then you wouldn’t have to worry about me nagging you to put lotion on.
Itsy-bitsy gecko… Yes, I mentioned you last time. I’m quite taken with you, though, so I can’t help but do so again. You’re adorable. I keep my eyes open as I go about the apartment, wondering where I’ll see you next. But hey, I told you to stay off my floor! It’s a good thing you were in a corner, or else I might have stepped on you.
Ramen noodles and PB&J sandwiches… In the absence of a microwave or many quick-and-easy meal options, you are two wonderful standbys. I especially fancy a nice, hot bowl of Ramen noodles (with peas and sometimes an egg added – try it!).
Office/spare room… You’re looking so much better now that I have those piles of paper off the desk! I actually like you now.
Plastic clothespins… I must confess, I have an irrational fear that you’ll break and then my clothes will go sailing away in the wind.
Everyone I try to talk to… I’m sorry I sound like a two-year-old. It’s as frustrating for me as it is for you. Please be patient with me.
Middle-of-the-night thunderstorm… Normally, I’d relish such a storm. But not on a night when I barely got any sleep. You didn’t have to be so enthusiastic with your rolls of thunder or so generous with your flashes of lightening. Just this once, you kind of overdid it.
While-we-wait-in-traffic vendors… It’s nice to know we have so many options should we feel the urge to spend, but we don’t. Remote controls? No thank you. Sunglasses? No thank you. Cashews, phone cards, water? No thank you. Have a nice day!
Mom… Our Friday Skype chats are the highlight of my week. You’re the best, you know that?
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